


:{-Abandoned-}:

by HamilWriter_02



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abuse, Alexander Hamilton - Freeform, Anxiety, Bullying, Child Abuse, Death, F/F, F/M, Foster Care, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lams - Freeform, M/M, MxM - Freeform, Non-binary character, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, abused, nb!peggy, slow burn lams, trans!James Madison, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 53
Words: 38,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23574706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HamilWriter_02/pseuds/HamilWriter_02
Summary: Alex comes from an abusive foster background. Now he is in senior year of high school, and every home he’s been placed in since he was 12 has either been physically abusive, neglective, or the people were addicted to something.He decided to stick it out until he goes to college, while hiding his bruises and pushing away anyone who tries to get close.He doesn’t want to get hurt again.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Maria Reynolds & Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Thomas Jefferson/Angelica Schuyler
Comments: 314
Kudos: 117





	1. Chapter 1

Alex was once again transferred to another foster home. He had been living with this family for two weeks and already knew they were going to be worse than the last family. But he just stuck it out. He was a senior in high school. He would graduate soon, and he would be in college, and out of the foster system. Alex was transferred to a new high school. That’s what happened every time he switched homes. Though he caught up quickly, so that wasn’t a big problem for Alex. 

So, like every day, Alex wore a long sleeved hoodie and jeans to hide various bruises across his body before using concealer he bought for this occasion to hide a bruise across his cheek. Then he tied up his tennis shoes and grabbed his bag and phone he had from a few homes ago, and walked out of the house quickly to avoid his monstrous foster parents. 

Alex walked into the school, slightly nervous. And just as he got into the school, he bumped into someone. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” He quickly said, face red. “Ugh! Seriously?!” The tall boy said. He towered over Alex by a lot. He had darker skin and fluffy hair. Alex flinched at the loud voice, knowing very well that this boy could hurt him badly if he wanted to. A girl standing next to him placed an hand on his arm to calm him down. “Thomas...please?” The boy, Thomas, signed. “Oh alright Angelica. Let’s go.” Thomas and Angelica walked off holding hands, Angelica still scolding him for being so rude.

Alex just rushed to the front office for his schedule, taking care that he didn’t bump into anyone else. He quickly opened the door and went inside. He grabbed the paper given to him and a boy was standing there at the front desk. It looked like he was waiting for someone. At first Alex jumped back. He looked just like Thomas. Then the boy spoke. “‘Ello! Call me Laf. I’m going to be showing you around, oui?” The boy had a strong French accent. He seemed nice enough. He had more than a few names though, so Alex stuck with Laf.

After he was given a tour, he quickly went to his first class and slid into a seat right next to a curly-haired and freckled boy.


	2. Chapter 2

As Alex sat there in history, he started tapping the desk repeatedly, nervous. The freckled boy looked over at him and said, “Hey, you’re new right?” Alex just looked at him and hesitantly nodded. The boy smiled and said, “Cool, my name is John Laurens.” Alex bit his lip and shrugged. “That’s nice.” He said this, not wanting to tell his own name and get too attached.

”Whats your name?” John asked. Alex shrugged. “Er—Class is starting.” And with that, John just waited for roll call to find out that Alex’s name was Alexander Hamilton. Honestly, he thought the new kid was pretty cool. And attractive too. Alex was a little distant, but that was normal for a new kid, right? After class, John went up to Alex and asked, “Hey want to hang out with my friends and I at lunch? They would love to meet you.” Alex shrugged. “Maybe. I got to get to PE...”

Alex always dreaded PE. He was always given concerned looks in the locker room when he changed. That’s why he always changed in the bathroom. As he walked to the locker’s barroom, he was sure to grab his PE clothes. He groaned as he realized the clothes were shorts and short-sleeved T-shirts. The outfit wouldn’t cover any of the marks on Alex’s body. The ones both his “parents” and himself put there. Ignoring this fact, Alex quickly put on the outfit and pulled his hoodie on over. He couldn’t do anything to his exposed legs, but he hoped no one would notice.

People did notice. They stared, but no one said anything. “See, no one really cares.” Alex chided himself as he started to run around the track, wincing at the dull pain over his body. 

Finally, everything was finished in the class. Alex walked back to the locker room to get changed, and saw a teacher walking towards him. Alex started walking faster and locked himself in the bathroom to get ready to leave. He heard a sharp knock on the door before he heard the teacher say, “Alexander, please come out when you’re done. I need to speak with you.” Alex nervously finished getting dressed, pulled his sleeves farther down his arms, and unlocked the door before opening it to face the teacher. 

“Alexander, come to my office please. Follow me.” Alex silently followed her through the halls until they came to an empty classroom. The teacher sat at the desk in the front, and motioned for Alex to sit across from her. “Now. I noticed some...marks on your legs. What’s that from?” Alex just shrugged and gave a vague answer about how he fell and how a cat scratched him up. The teacher looked skeptical. Like she knew he was lying. “Oh...are you sure you’re alright?” 

Alex nervously laughed and tried to smile as he nodded, desperate to get out of the classroom. “Yes. I’m sure, ma’am.” The teacher smiled. “Very well. By the way, my name is Mrs. Schuyler. You might meet my kids at school. Please come talk to me anytime you need to talk about anything. Anything at all.” Mrs. Schuyler gave Alex a reassuring smile, which he timidly returned. “Erm...thanks I guess Mrs. Schuyler. I need to get to my next class.” Alex stood up quickly and went to his next class.

As he walked through the halls, he anxiously pulled his sleeves down, trying to stretch them farther than they could stretch. As he clutched his backpack straps and was hurrying down the hall, he ran into the same boy from before, Thomas. Alex was too preoccupied with making sure his sleeves didn’t get pushed up, he wasn’t paying attention. “Hey, I told you to watch it, damnit!” Thomas said angrily. Alex noted that Angelica wasn’t with him right now. He stiffened up at the loud noises, and flinched back in fear as he said, “I’m sorry.” Over and over again as he hurried to his classroom.

As he got to the classroom, he reminded himself his guardians weren’t at his school, and he was safe—until he had to go home of course. All Alex could do was sigh and pull out a notebook for class as he bell rang.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️: Foster Parent Abuse

Alex got to know John and his friends, one of them actually being Laf. The other one was Hercules Mulligan, or Herc. Alex reminded himself over and over throughout lunch that he couldn’t get too close. Either they would hurt him, or he would leave them when he moves foster homes. If people find out about the abuse. Mrs. Schuyler was already onto him. 

Speaking of Mrs. Schuyler, Alex got to meet her kids. Two girls, named Eliza and Angelica and then their sibling Peggy, who preferred to be called Pegs. Pegs was non-binary with they/their pronouns. Alex respected that. Angelica turned out to be Thomas’s girlfriend. So, he got to know the Schuylers too. He also reminded himself to not get too close to them.

After school, he had to stay after class because he refused to do any work at home. He had too many chores to do. His ‘parents’ wouldn’t want him doing anything else. He had learned this the hard way. Alex sighed as he finished up the last paragraph of his essay before turning it in to the very tired and annoyed looking teacher.

Alex said goodbye to the teacher and walked out the door, knowing he would be punished for being so late. He pushed open the door to his house after walking two miles to get there. Alex tried to sneak up to his room and close the door quietly, but then he heard his ‘father’ call out, “So you finally decided to come home, son?!” 

Alex’s face turned pale and his hands became clammy. He heard footsteps coming down the stairs. “I-I’m sorry...I needed to stay after school for something—“ his foster father cut him off by saying, “So you got in trouble at school?! Ugh you will never learn, son!” Alex flinched as he saw the man walk towards him, swinging a belt around like it was nothing. “I’m sorry sir.” Alex said stiffly. “Sorry doesn't make up for disobedience. You know what does?” Alex bit his lip as he nodded. “Lashes.” He said quietly. The man stopped swinging the belt and he walked closer.

Alex stiffened up. He wouldn’t cry out or give the man any satisfaction of knowing that he was hurting Alex. So as Alex saw the belt being brought down harshly, Alex didn’t do anything but flinch slightly as it lashed across his face, leaving a stinging welt there. The force almost knocked Alex to the floor. The boy watched as the belt came down again, this time connecting with his side. This time, Alex fell to the ground. 

He felt himself getting new welts and bruises until his ‘father’ got bored and dropped the belt on him before walking away like he didn’t just beat up the teenager he was supposed to be caring for. Alex just grunted and winced in pain as he stood up and walked to his room to take painkillers and get bandages.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Alex woke up later than usual and quickly got dressed before grabbing his backpack and sprinting out the door. As he reached the school building, he then realized that he forgot to cover up the marks on his face. Panicking, he quickly pulled his hoodie up and put his head down as he walked down the halls to get to his locker. Alex spun the lock around with shaky hands multiple times before it finally snapped open. After grabbing the necessary things from his locker, he turned around and almost instantly bumped into someone. He internally cursed himself because it was turning into a habit before panicking that he bumped into Jefferson again. “I-I’m so sorry...” He mumbled to person he hit before looking up to see Eliza.

As soon as he looked up, Eliza’s eyes widened and her hand went up to touch the bruise along his face. Alex flinched at her warm hand. Her soft voice asked, “What happened Alexander?” Alex just shrugged. “Uh...I-I ran into something...” Eliza leaned into Alex’s face to get a closer look at the mark. Suddenly she jolted back, her eyes wide in horror. “Alexander, that’s a leather mark. Someone hit you with a-a belt or—something! Who did this to you?!” She whispered in a harsh tone. Alex shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t want people to notice the exchange.

Alex didn’t want to lie to Eliza. But he didn’t want to move homes again. “It’s—it’s fine. I swear, it’s nothing. Uhm...I need to get to class ‘Liza. See ya.” Alex gave her a quick fake smile before leaving Eliza there, more worried than ever. 

As Alex slid into his seat in class, he fixed his hood before the teacher came in and told him to take it off. “I can’t.” Alex told him, biting his lip. “And why is that?” The teacher asked suspiciously. “I just don’t want to.” The teacher crossed his arms and said, “If you don’t want to cooperate, go to the principal’s office.” Alex just shrugged and got up from his seat and walked out of the classroom without putting up a fight. He walked to the office and the lady at the front desk looked up at him and asked, “What’s your reason for being here?” 

“I didn’t want to take off my hoodie in Mr. Adams class.” The lady started to write on a slip of paper. “Alright. Any other reasons? Why don’t you want to take off your hoodie?” Alex had been staring at the floor the entire time, and intended to stay that way. “I just don’t want to.” He said nervously. “If we keep having problems with you young man, we’ll have to call your parents.” Alex’s eyes widened and he put his head up without thinking, saying quickly, “Please don’t call my parents!” Quickly realizing his mistake, he hid his face hoping the lady hadn’t gotten a close look at him. 

“I won’t call them today. Just stay out of trouble. Now I think that because we worked this out, I’ll just give this slip to the principal, and you can go back to class.” Alex nodded gratefully and sped out the door to get back to class. When he sat back down, he copied all the notes on the board and ignored Mr. Adams’ comments on his hoodie.

-/-

At break, Alex sat by John, Laf, Herc, Eliza, and Pegs. Angelica day with her boyfriend that day. Eliza kept giving Alex worried glances as he told the others that he ran into something. Everyone else didn’t question it. Sure, it didn’t look like that, but if Alex didn’t want to share, they wouldn’t pry. When the bell was about to leave, the group started leaving one by one. Eliza stopped Alex so that they were the only ones left at the table. He looked confused until she tugged him to come with her.

She pulled him into the janitor’s closet and pulled out a small makeup bag. She took out some concealer and started dabbing it in Alex’s face. As Eliza did this, she said quietly, “I know someone hit you. I don’t know who, and I’m not going to ask. But I don’t believe that you knocked into a metal pole. When you want, you can tell me the truth. But I’m not going to force you.” Alex gave her a thankful smile as she finished covering up his bruise. “Thank you Eliza.” Eliza smiled as she put the makeup bag back in her backpack. “Of course. Anything for a friend. See you later. Also, if you ever need a place to stay...come to the Schuylers. Mom wouldn’t mind.” Alex thanked her again before they both walked out together and went to their own classrooms. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️: Self-hate, use of the word ‘b***h’

Alexander thankfully got home from school on time. He quickly slipped upstairs to the bathroom and locked himself in. Alex poured cold water over his face and gently washed Eliza’s concealer off of the bruise on his face. As he watched the makeup go down the drain, he suddenly felt wetness and stinging on his cheek. He looked up into the mirror to see tears running down his paled face.

His hands gripped the counter and he glared at his own face. He was angry and scared. Alex had to keep reminding himself that his new friends would leave him someday. It was only a matter of time. First the kind, sweet, beautiful, caring Eliza would leave him. Then John, Herc, Laf, Pegs, and Angelica would follow. “It’s so stupid for you to be crying!” Alex scolded his reflection. “Damnit Alex! Your just acting like a selfish, bitchy brat. It’s no surprise they’re going to leave. You know they will. So why are you crying?! This is how it is every single damn school.” 

Alex finally angrily pushed the tears off his stinging face. Looking at the mirror, he could see that his red and puffy eyes stood out from his paled complexion. Alex tried to catch his breath, reaching for the lock on the doorknob. He took a deep breath and swung the bathroom door open before rushing to his room as fast as he could. Alex sat down on his bed and pulled an old phone out of his bag. He found himself giving a small smile as he found that Aaron texted him.

The only person who never did leave him. Alex clicked on the message notification to see a simple, _“Hey Alex.”_ Alex smiles and typed, _“Hey Aaron...What’s up?”_ Alex could tell that Aaron was waiting for his message because the boy immediately wrote back, _“Are you doing alright?”_ This took Alex aback. Then remembered that was how Aaron Burr was. He always asked about others before himself.

 _”I’m fine.”_ was the simple message sent before Alex turned off his phone and lay down on his bed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️: Self-Harm, self-hate, blood

As Alex lay in bed thinking, his thoughts drifted back to what he was thinking in the bathroom. How no one stays forever. How everyone would abandon him. How none of his new friends really cared. He didn’t deserve friends. Not at all. He was just some dumb and abused orphan no one cared about. I guess that was his thought process in 7th grade when he first picked up a razor.

After the first cut, it got more and more addicting to him. Alex would find any sharp edge or object to remind himself that he didn’t deserve comfort. There had been a few homes who noticed the markings he made, but very few cared. Only one family sent him to therapy, and that was because they didn’t want someone to find out they were mistreating Alex.

Now Alex is craving the sharp edge again. He feels the need to sink a blade into his skin purely because he needs to remind himself that nobody loves him and that everyone will leave him. So, that’s what forced him to get up from his bed, quietly walk to the bathroom, lock the door, and grab his ‘mother’s’ razor blades from the top shelf. They were required to be up high, but that didn’t stop Alex.

He quickly pushed up his sleeve and the blade glided along his skin, leaving trails of blood. Alex started spelling something out carefully. A reminder. When he was done, he looked down at the word flooded with blood. All it said was “Abandoned”. Alex was starting to feel lightheaded. He quickly rinsed off his arm, and struggled with a bandage. (Which he would take off right when the bleeding stopped.) He stumbled to his bed and collapsed on top of it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️: Mentions past self-harm, mentions past abuse, self-hate

When Alex finally wakes up, he pulls up his sleeves and cautiously takes off the bandage partially. Seeing that the bleeding stopped, he took the bandage off and looked over the word he cut into his skin yesterday. “ _Abandoned_.” Alex just thought to himself that it was true, and that he deserved it, before pulling his sleeves down again. He pulled new pants on and went out of his bedroom. Alex didn’t need to grab a lunch. He didn’t eat much anyway.

Of course, his new ‘friends’ noticed he wasn’t eating, but he just said he wasn’t hungry and that he had a big breakfast. Both of those were lies, but he didn’t want to get in trouble for accidentally taking food that he wasn’t allowed to take. He didn’t want to get hit anymore than he already was. As Alex walked, he kept staring down at his arm. Not only the word, but all the white and faded scars around it. Some were redder than others, however.

Alex approached the school and pulled his sleeve down before rushing to the bathroom. He pulled out his own concealer (he didn’t want to bother Eliza.) and quickly made sure no bruises or marks showed anywhere on his body. After lots of wincing and slathering on multiple layers, Alex decided he was ready to go to class. He sat down next to John. When he sat down, he realized that John’s face suddenly flushed when they made eye contact. “Oh, h-hey Alex.” He said smiling. Confused, Alex just hesitantly said, “Oh-Uh...hi.” 

Then he quickly went back to work. Multiple times, Alex looked up to find John quickly looking away. To be honest, it made Alex slightly uncomfortable, but...he was confused as to why John was suddenly so flustered around him and why he seemed so interested in him. Alex tried to ignore it as much as he could before the bell finally rang, dismissing the class.


	8. Chapter 8

When Alex got home that day, he got the rare privilege of getting a meal at the end of the day. He sat down at the table and started eating the stew in the bowl in front of him. It tasted alright. Alex felt his ‘parents’ watching him eat. He looked up at them when he finished and said quietly, “Thank you.” Before taking his bowl to the sink and washing it with the rest of the dishes. Then he heard his ‘mother’ say, “Alexander, remember. Your social worker is coming to visit tonight. Don’t say anything about how we treat you. Now go and cover up those horrible marks. The makeup is fading.”

Alex nodded silently, and as soon as he was done with the dishes, he went upstairs, washed his greasy hair, took some painkillers, wrapped his arms, got a fresh hoodie on, got nice jeans on, and then started covering up his face. After he looked better, he saw the dark circles under his eyes. It wouldn’t hurt to add a little concealer there too, right? He read somewhere that concealer can make it worse, but when he used a bit, it made him look much better.

Alex pulled his hair into a ponytail and walked out of the bathroom feeling a lot cleaner. He went out to the living room and slowly started sitting on the couch, giving his ‘parents’ time to tell him to not sit there. After Alex was seated, his ‘father’ came in and looked the boy over. He nodded and said, “Good enough. She’ll be here soon.” Alex just nodded. “Yes sir.” Then his ‘dad’ left.

A few minutes later, someone knocked on the door. Alex’s ‘mom’ went to open the door, and a beautiful woman walked into the room. Alex knew her and was familiar with her. She was his social worker. Sally Hemmings. Sally walked inside and spotted Alex. They made eye contact and they both smiled. “Hello Alex. How are you doing?” Alex could tell her about all the abuse and he would be taken out of the home immediately.

But the glare he got from his ‘parents’ stopped him. He just stuttered, “I-I’m...I’m f-fine. I’m doing good.” Sally nodded and wrote a few notes down. “That’s good. How’s school? Any friends? How are your grades? Any girls?” Alex blushed a bright red from the last question. Sally knew he was bisexual but leaned more towards guys. Alex started giggling, confusing his ‘parents’. Then he answered the questions. “Schools fine. I’ve got a group of friends...Grades are good. And erm...No—no girls. Though I caught someone staring at me during class.” Sally smiled and started writing things down.

”And how are you here? They treating you well?” Alex couldn’t bring himself to say anything so he just stiffly nodded. Sally looked into his eyes to try and find something telling her that he was lying, but wrote some notes down. “Okay, may I speak with your foster parents now?” Alex nodded and stood up. He went to his room and closed the door. Alex flopped onto his bed and pulled out his phone to talk to Aaron.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love Alex and Eliza’s friendship. Idk why—

At lunch, Alex made a mistake and he immediately knew that he made it. He wasn’t paying as close attention to his sleeves. Eliza had been watching him and noticed when his long sleeves rode up his arms just a little too far. She saw red lines and grabbed Alex’s arm. She watched the boy wince and look up at her, paralyzed. Eliza looked at him, and seeing the odd looks their group was giving them, she said, “Hey Alex, want to come help me with something?” Not feeling like he had a choice, Alex just shrugged and nodded, letting himself get dragged to the bathroom by Eliza.

She locked the stall door and right when she did, she gingerly pushed up Alex’s right sleeve. Eliza’s eyes swept over the word on his arm that he had looked over hundreds of times. “Oh, Alex...” she muttered, her finger lightly tracing the cuts. “Why’d you do this to yourself...?” Eliza watched as Alex bit his lip and she saw him forcing back tears. “I’m your friend. You can tell me anything. Why—why’d you cut this into your arm?” Alex felt a stray tear fall down his face as he watched Eliza’s eyes fill with concern. Genuine concern.

”You wouldn’t understand.” He muttered, trying to tug his arm out of Eliza’s grip. “Try me. I want to help you, Alexander. Please. Just—tell me _why_.” Alex sighed and said, “Because...everyone else in my life has abandoned me. I don’t feel loved. I don’t feel—cared for. I don’t feel important, or smart, or—I guess...I don’t feel worthy of anyone’s love or support.” Eliza looked at Alex, and her eyes searched his. Now she was holding back tears as she realized how broken Alex was. She knew this because Peggy’s eyes looked the same way when Eliza made them tell her about their suicidal thoughts.

Eliza put her hand on Alex’s cheek and smiled at him. “It’ll be okay. You’re loved, and you deserve love. Never forget that. I’m pretty sure you are very loved by a certain John Laurens....” Alex cracked a smile. “Heh...Yeah, he’s not v-very subtle, is he?” Using her thumb, Eliza wipes away his tears. She took a deep breath and let it out before saying, “You should give him a chance. He’s a good guy. If you like guys, that is.” Alex bit his lip before saying, “I’m just so scared that he’ll leave me.” Eliza smiled at him. “But maybe he won’t. Maybe you’ll stay with him forever. And then you’ll get married, and adopt some kids. Maybe he will. But John is a sweet guy and maybe you could have a life together. You have to start trusting people again. I don’t know your past, or anything. But I know that you’ve been hurt by multiple people. It’s going to be hard, but you should start trusting more people. Trust me when I say this. I swear to you that I will never abandon you. I will always be here for you.” 

Alex smiled and surprised Eliza by pulling her into a hug. “Thank you so much Eliza. I’ll try my best. You’ve helped me so much. I think—I think we should go back to the others. They’ll be wondering where we are.” Alex paused before saying, “Eliza...about John...I think I’ll give him a chance. Again. Thank you so much.” 

They pulled apart and Eliza grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Anytime, Alex. Anytime.”


	10. Chapter 10

Alex would never forget the spark that lit in John’s eyes or the flushed look on his face when Alex asked to speak with him alone. Once they walked away from the group, Alex took a deep breath and let it out before speaking. “Listen. John, I know you like me.” John’s face got impossibly redder. “I-Oh...is that what this is about? Erm...I’m sorry...is it bothering you? I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable.” Alex shook his head. “Well, I want to tell you something before you decide if you want to continue liking me.” John watched as he fiddled with his sleeves and bit his lip. “What is it?”

Alex sighed and started speaking to the floor. “If we do start dating...Just know that I’ve been abandoned so many times in life. I-I’ve been hurt. And left. A-And it'll be hard for me to open up. But know th-that it’s not your fault. None of it is you. Just know that if I seem distant...that’s why.” John was listening intently and nodded as Alex spoke. He used his pointer finger to lift Alex’s chin. Their eyes met and John said, “I understand. I’ll wait until you’re ready.” Alex smiled and John thought they were done until Alex said, “Wait there’s something else. You need to know what you would be getting into. I have depression, PTSD, and anxiety. There’s also something I need to show you.”

John’s breath hitched and the encouraging words were stopped in his throat as he watched Alex tug up his sleeves. Alex couldn’t meet John’s eyes as he held his arms out in front of him. “Oh my god Alex...” Alex was surprised by being suddenly hugged by John. He was also surprised by the fact that John was crying. Alex didn’t know what to do, his arms falling limp to his sides as he let John hug him.

”I’m so sorry.” John said. Alex was confused by this. “Why’re you apologizing?” Alex felt John pull away and watched as John pulled up his own sleeves. Faded white scars were etched all over. Alex looked from the arms stretched out in front of him to John’s face. “I’ve been clean for about a year now. The scars won’t ever leave though...Alex, I know we’re both broken. But...I really like you. Remember that I’ll be waiting for you until you’re ready, okay?” 

Still stunned by John’s arms, Alex stopped staring long enough to nod slightly. “Alright. Thank you John.” John smiled. “You’re welcome. Also, Alex please stop hurting yourself.” John pulled down his sleeves and Alex followed as he started to say. “I’ll try my best but I just feel like sometimes I deserve it.”

”Don’t ever say that. No one ever deserves that. We’ve got to get to class now, come on.”


	11. Chapter 11

At the end of the day, Alex made a decision that he hoped his ‘father’s’ beatings would be worth it. He found Eliza after school waiting with her siblings. He tapped her shoulder and she turned around before smiling wide at his shy smile. “Hey Alex, what’s up?” Eliza watched Alex’s feet start to shift around until he said quietly, “Could I come over today? I-It’s okay if you say no...but er—your mom said I could come over sometime.” Alex watched Eliza’s face go from worried to absolutely elated. “Of course Alex! Angie, Pegs and I are just waiting for our mom to finish grading some extra papers. Come sit with us.” She scooted over and Alex day between her and Pegs.

As they sat, Alex watched as Jefferson and another boy walked by them together. The other boy was really short compared to Jefferson, and overall had a slightly feminine form. It wasn’t Alex’s business, so he turned his eyes away from the boy until he noticed there was a certain form underneath the boy’s shirt that showed something was there. It was a binder. Alex knew this because one of his old foster siblings once had one.

That’s when Alex took his eyes off the boy, so he wouldn’t see, and Jefferson wouldn’t either. Of course Jefferson had to approach the siblings and Alex with his friend. Angelica’s face slightly brightened when she saw her boyfriend walking towards them. “Hey Thomas, hey James!” Alex looked away as Angelica went to kiss Jefferson. It was weird watching one of his friends kiss such a jerk that treated him horribly.

”Hi Angie, how are you?” Jefferson asked her. “I’m good, my siblings and I are waiting for our mom.” Jefferson looked past her and stared at Alex. “Why’s he with you guys?” He pointed at him and Angelica looked at Alex. “He’s coming home with us.” 

“Why?” Eliza noticed something was going on and stood up, timidly at first, to defend Alex. “He-He just is, okay? Hey Ange, I see mom coming. Come on Alex, let’s go.” She absentmindedly grabbed his arm but immediately regretted it when he winced in pain. “Oh shit Alex, I’m so sorry! I forgot, oh my god I’m sorry.” Eliza quickly let go of his arm, with Jefferson looking at Alex strangely. The boy with him, James, had been quiet the entire time. Like he was scared to speak.

Alex looked at him and said, “Hi, I’m Alexander Hamilton.” He was trying his best to open up, like Eliza told him to. James looked confused before saying, “J-James Madison...” Alex shyly smiled. “Nice to meet you.” Mrs. Schuyler came up to the kids and said to the siblings, “Let’s go kids.” Alex stepped next to Eliza and waited for Eliza to explain why he was there. “Oh-mom, can Alex come home with us? He—uh...wants to hang out.” Mrs. Schuyler immediately agrees and leads Angelica, Pegs, Eliza, and Alex to the car after Angie said bye to Jefferson. Alex waved a small goodbye to James, and watched the small boy smile. 

When they were all in the car, Eliza and Pegs started taking about what they were going to do at home. Mostly giving Alex a makeover, studying, maybe cook something. Alex just laughed nervously and nodded to everything they said. He was tense and stiff thinking about how many rules his ‘parents’ made that he would be breaking. Finally, Mrs. Schuyler called,

”We’re home, guys, gals, and non-binary pals!” Alex smiled. He was really liking this woman.


	12. Chapter 12

Alex followed the siblings and their mother into the huge house. It’s 3 stories huge. Alex is in awe as he walks in. Soon, his hand is gingerly taken by Eliza, and she leads him to her room with Pegs and Angelica following behind. Alex couldn’t help but smiling at the giddy look on Eliza’s face. When the reached the room, Alex looked around. The walls were painted a light blue and there was a queen sized bed with white covers. There was a dresser and huge bookshelf. Overall it was a simple room. It looked rich, but simple.

The girls and Pegs immediately went to sit on the bed and then Angelica patted the bed to motion Alex to sit by them. “C’mon, I have a boyfriend, Pegs doesn’t like you at all, and Eliza is too pure to take you from John and I have a suspicion she’s gay for Maria Lewis anyway.” Alex cracked a smile as he sat and looked at Eliza as she flushed and started sputtering. “Wh-What do y-you mean?! I-I-H-How did you know?!” Angelica’s smirk widened. “So you don’t deny it?” Eliza’s pale face was now bright red as she covered her face with her hands. Pegs, meanwhile, was laughing their ass off at their siblings. 

Soon Alex joined in on the laughter. Eliza uncovered her face and looked at Alex. “Y-You just laughed! You should laugh more often. It suits you.” Eliza said genuinely. “Oh—er...thanks?” 

Soon Angelica and Eliza had taken out their makeup. The girls and Pegs insisted on putting makeup on the poor boy. Alex just sighed, defeated, and let them. He watched Angelica pull out a palette with very dark shades. As he looked at it, Angelica explained. “I bought this during my rebellious emo phase. I think it would suit you.” Eliza playfully slapped her arm. “Don’t be mean.” Angelica fake-gasped in response. “How dare you think that’s an insult! I looked so badass during that phase! Pegs, back me up here!” Angelica looked at her youngest sibling with pleading eyes and the response was, “Yeah, whatever you say, Angie.” The eldest just rolled her eyes and opened the palette and took out a eyeshadow brush.

”Let’s get started and make this man as badass as we can. Let’s go Schuyler Siblings!” The three cheered and practically pounced Alex, starting on his makeup. Even if he didn’t want them to do it, he didn’t really have a choice.

Eliza was in charge of his foundation and concealer (because she knew how gentle to be), Angelica was on eye makeup duty, and Pegs did his lips and hair. 

All Alex could do was close his eyes when they asked, try not to wince too much when Eliza did her job, and not to squeal every time Pegs mercilessly dragged a brush through his horrendously tangled hair.

Finally, they were finished. The trio stepped back and told Alex to close his eyes. They helped him stand from the bed, and Alex let himself get led somewhere by them. When he heard Eliza’s voice telling him to open his eyes, he did and his reaction was, “Damn, You managed the impossible. You made me look hot.” Angelica and Pegs started snorting and Eliza burst into a fit of giggles. 

Angelica had given him a dark smoky eye and perfect twin wings of eyeliner. Eliza has worked magic with the foundation and concealer. Pegs give him very dark red lipstick and braided a few strands of hair leading into the rest of his hair, which was in a bun. “Wow, I didn’t expect this, but I actually love it...” His new stylists started beaming and high-fiving around him. Eliza decided to try and push it. “Hey Pegs, you know those heels you used to have?” Alex tried to say that the makeup was enough when Pegs exclaimed, “Oh hell yes! They’re in my closet. I’ll grab them.” 

Alex watched as Pegs darted out of the room and soon came back with heels matching his lips dangling from their fingers. What surprised Alex more was when Angelica picked up his thin frame with a strength Alex didn’t know she had. Of course, it was very easy to pick Alex up, but still. Angelica sat him on the counter and Pegs walked over and got down on their knees to pull of his shoes. “My Cinderella, I have found your shoes.” They said dramatically, holding one of the heels. Alex just laughed at them as Pegs slipped one of the red heels on his feet before fastening a buckle and doing the next one. 

After Pegs was done, Eliza and Angelica held his hands and helped Alex safely get down from the counter. After he wobbled for a bit, he took his hands back and attempted to walk around on the heels alone. He almost fell over multiple times, but one of the siblings was always there to catch him. Soon Alex was walking just fine alone and then the three taught Alex how to do his makeup by himself before Angelica presented the palette she used on him to him for keep. “Are you sure, Angelica?” He asked, hesitating. “I don’t use it anymore, and the look suits you. I can see how much you want it. Keep it. Dinner is going to be ready soon.” 

Alex froze. He stayed for that long? He was in for it now...he quickly explained that he had to go before changing his shoes, wiping off the makeup on his face, grabbing Angie’s makeup palette, and rushing out the house after saying goodbye to Mrs. Schuyler.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️: Abuse

As he ran to his house, he hid the palette in his bag. Alex knew he would get beat faster if he got there faster, but it would be worse the later he was out. He just wanted to get it over with. Alex opened the door slowly and quietly and stepped into the house. He knew his parents would be eating dinner in the next room. He tried to walk as quietly as he could to his room before he heard, “Alexander!” Alex stopped stiffly, knowing it wouldn’t work to just keep walking and ignoring the man. 

“Y-Yes, sir?” He heard footsteps coming up behind him and he felt a heavy hand come down on his shoulder, gripping it tightly. Alex didn’t dare to even breathe. “Follow me, son.” Alex let himself get turned around and followed his ‘father’ to the dining room table and shoved him down into a chair. After Alex was seated, his ‘father’ sat across from him and glared. With his wife next to him, he growled, “Where were you?” 

Alex started stuttering. “I-Uh-Well, I was s-studying...” His ‘father’ slammed his hands on the table and stood up screaming, “ _ **Don’t lie to me!**_ ” Alex looked at him frightened before saying, “I-I was at—um...t-m-my f-frien-nds h-house...” He said, stumbling over every word. His ‘father’s’ eyes filled with rage. “ ** _ALEXANDER! YOU KNOW THE DAMN RULES! YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BASTARD!_** ” Alex watched the man grab a glass and flinched when he felt the glass shatter against him. 

Alex hissed in pain before the man asked, “Who were you with?!” He had started making his way around the table and to Alex. When Alex didn’t answer his question, he slapped him. “Answer me, boy!” Alex could feel the stinging on his face from the cuts and slap. “I was at the Schuylers...” Alex watched as his ‘father’s’ face suddenly changed. “Oh! As in Philip Schuyler? They have three daughters, yes?” Alex flinched at the word daughters. “They do have three _kids_ , yes.” The man standing in front of him started smiling. “Oh, that’s fantastic. If you could date one of those girls that would be great.”

Alex’s eyes widened. “Oh, uh...w-well, the oldest is already dating someone. The middle doesn’t like me whatsoever. She’s more like a moth-sister to me. And the youngest sibling isn't into me at all. They aren’t attracted to me. Therefore that won’t be possible. I’m sorry sir.” Alex decided to steer clear of the fact that Eliza was most likely lesbian. He could tell that his ‘father’ got mad at that. “Oh, is that so?” Alex nodded. “Well, at least try! They could give your mother and I some good income.” Alex’s eyes widened and he stood up quickly. “No thanks. I don’t feel attracted to them.” 

His ‘father’s’ nostrils flared and Alex quickly fled the table as he heard the man call out behind him, “This isn’t over, young man!” Alex just sighed as he walked into his room. It wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. Alex locked his bedroom door and pulled the makeup palette out of his bag. He looked carefully at it and saw the word, ‘ _Chanel_ ’ written across it. Alex grabbed his phone and looked the word up before letting out a, “holy shit”. It was a very expensive makeup brand. 

He tucked it safely back in his bag so he wouldn’t forget to bring it to school so he could apply it in the bathroom. 

After, he quickly fell asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

When Alex got up from bed in the morning he was actually smiling. He quickly got dressed and got out of the house, the morning wind whipping his face. He went to school and as soon as it opened, dashed inside. He went to the one-stall bathroom and locked the door before facing the mirror and pulled out the (very) expensive makeup palette Angelica gave him. Remembering what the siblings taught him, Alex carefully ran a brush into the eyeshadow before bringing it to his eye. He carefully covered his eyelid before taking a darker color and going around the edge of the lighter color he used. After blending it out, he did the other eye. As he looked in the mirror, Alex was happy with how it turned out. 

Alex our everything away and walked out of the bathroom feeling happy with himself. He spotted John and Laf talking by some lockers so he started to walk towards them. As he walked, he got a few compliments from girls passing by. Alex smiled and thanked them. When he reached his friends he tapped John on the shoulder and said, “Hey John, what’s up?” John turned around and his eyes widened when he saw Alex. That made the boy a little self-conscious and started to flush as he timidly whispered, “Do you not like it?”

John shook his head and said, “No-No! I like it. It’s just different. It suits you. You look pretty.” Alex beamed. “Thanks. The Schuylers gave the makeup to me.” John smiled back at him and pulled him into a side-hug. “I’m glad you’re happy.” Laf was watching the whole thing and said, “You look good Alezander.” 

“Thanks Laf. I didn’t know how everyone would react...I’ve gotten so many compliments from people I don’t even know!” John had never seen Alex so excited and happy before. “Well you look fantastic.” 

Alex have John one last hug before saying, “I’m going to go talk to Eliza. Oh, and thank Angelica. Bye guys.” He waved and walked away on a search to find the siblings. 

When he finally found them, he went up and in a rushed voice immediately started thanking them over and over again. Angelica giggled and said, “Don’t worry about it. If you want it, I can always bring you lip products that don’t suit me.” Alex’s eyes brightened before the light faded. “I-I don’t want you to give me all your stuff...I don’t want you to think I’m using you—you guys are so nice and—“ Pegs was already digging through their bag. “Don’t worry about it Lex. We know your intentions. Take it. You rock it!” They handed him the same lipstick they put on him last night. “A-Are you sure?” The three nodded as Pegs pushed the makeup into his hand. “Take it.” 

That’s when Alex remembered what his ‘father’ told him. “Hey guys...my foster dad seems pretty excited about the idea that I’m friends with you...Erm—he uh...is wanting me to use you for money I’m guessing. I refused. I want to let you know that that happened.” Eliza and Angelica made eye contact before Eliza said, “If your family has money problems we can always help ou-“ Alex shook his head. “No. We’re fine. He’s just a selfish man. He wants me to use you guys, and that’s why I feel guilty about taking your stuff.”

Pegs gave him a soft smile and said, “We know you aren’t using us. Plus, your family isn’t asking for makeup, right?” They laughed and soon their sisters joined in. “You’re right. Thank you again guys..” He got pulled into a hug by all of them until the bell rang. Alex slipped the dark red tube into his pocket and after Eliza kissed him on the cheek, he waved and went to class.


	15. Chapter 15

Alex strides confidently into the classroom, smiling wide. Everyone was surprised by how he presented himself. No one had seen him this happy before. He slid into his usual seat next to John and waited for the class to officially start. Mr. Adams was late for class. So naturally, all the kids started talking. John and Alex started talking when a girl with glasses came up to them. Alex didn’t notice her until he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He jumped before hearing a, “Oh! Sorry!” Alex turned and saw the shy girl behind him. “It’s fine—what is it?” He said, trying to not sound irritated.

”Oh—erm...My...my name is Theodosia. Theodosia Bartow.” She timidly held out her hand and Alex took it, shaking it lightly. “Nice to meet you. I’m Alex.” Theodosia giggled lightly. “I know who you are. You’re the kid who got in trouble because of the hoodie.” Alex smiled. “Yeah, that’s me.” Theodosia bit her lip before saying, “I like what you did with your eyes. I didn’t know that boys wore makeup.” 

Theodosia was genuinely confused, but thought it looked good. “Yeah, I didn't either. Some friends taught me. I really like it.” He was glad this girl wasn’t judging him. “I-It looks nice. Uh-Well...I-Um...Could I um...Could I sit with you and your friends during lunch?” Alex looked at John and John shrugged. “Sure.” Alex said, looking back at the girl. Theodosia fixed her glasses and beamed. “Thank you! Oh-Mr. Adams is back. Bye.” She gave a small wave and went to her seat in the back.

As the teacher passed Alex’s desk, he gave Alex a weird look before continuing his journey to his own desk. Alex just smiled at him, daring him to make a rude comment. Thankfully the teacher just shut his mouth for the entire class period. After class, there was PE. Alex was getting used to it.

* * *

At lunch, Alex went to sit by his friends and soon Theodosia found them. After introducing herself, she fit right into the group. She was more outgoing during lunch. When the bell rang, Alex was walking through the halls when something caught his eye. It was a poster ~~for the after school play~~ the after school debate club. Alex thought for a minute before picking up the pen and signing his name. He could always tell his ‘parents’ he was at the Schuyler family’s house after school.

Then he went to his next class.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter is a little longer!! I’m happy with it :3
> 
> ((Btw I’m posting this on my quotev so yay))

At the end of the day, Alex went and found the Schuyler siblings at the front of the school and told them about how he needed a cover story to go to debate. To his surprise, only Eliza and Pegs were there. They explained how Angelica had joined debate as well. After explaining his need, the two jumped up to the task and Eliza assured him that their mother would be okay with it. When Mrs. Schuyler came, she took her kids to the car and they drove away from the school to Alex’s house. Alex watched as they left and then quickly went to the History classroom.

* * *

Mrs. Schuyler reached the small home and knocked on the door. A woman opened it and Mrs. Schuyler explained that Alex would be hanging out at the Schuyler’s house and they would bring him back home after dinner time. A man’s voice called out to the woman to accept the offer and the woman did. After, Mrs. Schuyler left and went back to her car and drove home with Pegs and Eliza.

* * *

Alex walked into the classroom and took a seat in the front of the room next to Angelica. The teacher was in the front of the room. They started a conversation until more people walked into the room. Jefferson and Madison walked into the room together. They were walking close and Jefferson was whispering something to Madison with a worried expression on his face. Alex couldn’t hear what it was, but he heard Madison say, “I’m fine. Stop worrying about me.” 

The two sat down and the next person that came in surprised Alex. Theodosia walked in and Alex beckoned her to come and sit next to him, which she did. Theodosia joined his conversation with Angelica as two other students walked in. A boy and girl. When everyone was seated, the teacher stood up and took out the yellow sign-up sheet and began calling names off of it. The kids that came after Theodosia were Benjamin Franklin and Martha Skelton. 

When he had finished the short list of names, he scanned the classroom, his tired eyes lingering on Alex for a second longer before moving on. The teacher stood up and said, “You may or may not know me. I’m Mr. Washington. I know I said all your names already, but I want everyone to stand and say your name, preferred pronouns, and something about yourself. Anything else you want to share is up to you.” All the kids stood up one by one and spoke.

”My name is Benjamin Franklin. You can call me Ben. He and him pronouns. I like science.” 

“My name is Martha Skelton. She and her pronouns. I like riding horses.”

”My name is Theodosia Bartow. You can call me Theo. I am very serious and passionate about equal rights.”

”Hi, my name is Angelica Schuyler. She and her pronouns please. I love my siblings very much and I will fight anyone who doesn’t believe in women’s rights.”

”H-Hi. My name is Alexander Hamilton...Er—I prefer Alex. He and him pronouns and uh...I-I like writing...”

”Hello, fellow debaters! My name is Thomas Jefferson and I use he and him pronouns. I believe macaroni and cheese is the best food and I will fight you if you disagree. Thank you.”

”Oh! My turn. Hi—My name is Ja-James Madison. He and him pronouns. Erm...I like writing too.” 

Mr. Washington smiled. “I’m so happy to get to know you all. I’ll introduce myself. I’m George Washington. He and him pronouns. I am married to my wonderful wife, and I don’t have any children. I’ve been teaching at this school for 15 years now.”

The man clapped his hands once and said, “Now that we know each other more, let’s get to debating. Now, I’m not sure what you young people are into now but I understand that gender is a big topic nowadays. So, next meeting we’ll be debating about gender rights. I want this to be unbiased. The debaters will be completely random. I don’t want any feelings hurt, and I don’t want unnecessary insults. I think that’s it for today. I know it’s very short and not what you were expecting, but we’ll have a longer meeting next time. Be safe. Um, may I speak to Mr. Hamilton please?” 

Everyone started to leave and Alex quickly tapped Angelica’s shoulder whispering, “Wait for me, please?” The girl in pink nodded before walking out the door and waiting outside. Alex shuffled to the front desk, bringing a chair with him. He sat in front of the teacher as Mr. Washington sat down. “You wanted to see me sir?” The teacher nodded. “Yes. I know this may be a sensitive subject. Or just awkward for you...” Washington cleared his throat and Alex tried to keep his hands from fidgeting. He was hoping Washington wouldn’t question his makeup. “What is it sir?”

Washington folded his hands on the desk and said, “I’ve read through all the files of the students who signed up for debate. And I see in your file that you’ve moved to about 10 different schools in 5 years. Why is that?” Alex thought for a minute, taking his time and choosing his words wisely. “Well, sir...It’s also in my file that I’m in the foster system sir.” Washington’s eyes widened not in shock, but in a sudden interest. “Is that so?” Alex nodded confused. “What a coincidence! My wife and I are actually going to be getting certified for foster care and adoption soon.”

Alex coughed before mumbling, “That’s fantastic sir.” Washington was beaming and Alex could tell he was bursting with excitement. “Since we’re unable to have kids, we’ve decided to open our homes to the children who need it the most.” Alex tried to smile. He really did. “Oh—Well..congrats sir. May I tell you something important about foster care from a child’s perspective?” The man nodded in interest. “Of course, Alexander.” Again, Alex was hoping he was wording this right.

”Everything and anything you do to or for a child in your home will stick with them forever. Whether what you do is for good or bad. I’m proof of that. If kids, not babies, get placed in your home. Be careful because they’ve probably been through hell. I’ve been in the system since I was 12 and I’m 17 now. I’ve seen a lot. So...just don’t do anything that will negatively impact a child’s life. Because foster kids can be traumatized or broken down and vulnerable. I guess that’s all.” Washington’s smile had faltered halfway through Alex’s ‘advice speech’. “Oh..Well, thank you for telling me. It’s vital information. I’ll assure you that my wife and I will do our best.” Alex smiled at him. “Thank you sir. May I leave now? Angelica’s my ride home, and I don’t want to keep her waiting.” Washington nodded. “Yes, go on son.” He said absentmindedly. 

Alex flinched. “Please don’t call me that...” Alex walked out of the room before Washington could respond. Angelica called her mom to pick them up, and Mrs. Schuyler was there in less than 5 minutes. “Come on Alex, I told your parents I would drive you home after dinner and we’ve got an hour or so before then. You can hang out with the kids. “That’d be great, thanks Mrs. Schuyler.”

Alex was still amazed with the luxurious house even if he’d seen it all before. He stepped inside the grand place and immediately went to Eliza’s room. He knocked on the door and when he heard his friend’s voice call out, “Come in!” He swung the door open. Eliza was laying lazily on the bed in just a T-shirt and underwear. Eliza didn’t seem to mind, so Alex didn’t make a big deal out of it. He wasn’t attracted to Eliza romantically at all, so it didn’t bother him that she didn’t have pants on. She was like a sister to him. 

“I’m staying for dinner this time.” Alex said as he lay on his stomach next to Eliza. “That’s cool! What do you want to do?” Alex shrugged. “I don’t know...” Eliza’s face brightened as she got an idea. “Want to watch a movie in Peggy’s room? They have a television in there. I didn’t want the temptation in here, that’s why I didn’t get one.” It’d been a long time since Alex had watched a movie so he agreed and they both scurried to the youngest sibling’s room to watch a movie. 

When Eliza opened the door, there was a burst of bright yellow. The walls were painted yellow and the white bed frame had yellow covers with white polka dots. The only not all yellow things were the television, a white desk that was cluttered with junk and knickknacks, a silver laptop, and the non-binary flag hanging above Peggy’s bed. The person themself was asleep on the floor with a bunch of empty wrappers of various candies and snacks littered around them on the carpet. How they fell asleep with their arm at that odd angle, Alex didn’t know.

Unsure of how to wake them up, Alex stood by Eliza awkwardly until Eliza mercilessly kicked her sibling in the ribs. It wasn’t that hard but still...ouch. Alex heard a groan and Pegs sat up. “Whaddya want.” They slurred sleepily. “We’re watching a movie on your television whether you like it or not. Get up.” Pegs looked up and saw Alex was there. They sat up quicker than Alex could blink. “Oh! Lex is here. Ya should’ve told me. What are we watching?” Eliza shrugged and walked over to Peggy’s collection of movies. “I don’t know. Alex, you choose.” Alex walked to where Eliza was looking.

He looked through movie titles, occasionally pulling something out, looking at the cover, and putting it back. Soon, one caught his eye. “What’s this about?” He held the plastic DVD case under Eliza’s nose for her to look at. She took it from his hands and looked at it before saying, “Mary Poppins. It’s about a magical nanny in the 1900s who takes care of children and takes them on magical adventures.” Alex thought that sounded intriguing so he asked if they could watch that one. “Anything for our special guest!” Pegs said as they slipped the DVD into the DVD player and picked up the television remote. As they pressed a few buttons, Eliza stole some blankets and pillows off of Peggy’s bed. After setting up the movie, Pegs asked, “Hey is Ange coming to watch with us?” 

Eliza shrugged. “I’ll go ask her if she wants to.” With that, Eliza left the room. Right when she left, Pegs scooted closer to Alex and quietly said, “Can I tell you something, Lex?” Unsure of what he was about to be told, he whispered back, “Yeah, sure Pegs.” Pegs took a deep breath before saying, “I don’t know why but I feel like I’m always left out. Like Angie and Eliza are biased towards each other. Like they are each other’s favorites. I know it’s a horrible way to think but I just feel alone no matter how much they love me. I love them, do they me wrong...but I never get one on one time with either of them.” 

When Pegs finished, Alex let that sit in silence before responding just as quietly. “Can I tell you something Pegs?” Pegs nodded. “Eliza and Angelica love you more than you think. Eliza told me the other day how much she cares for you...And Angelica. She said in debate class that she loves her siblings very much. Not her sister. Her siblings. Plural. She loves both of you very much. And Eliza loves you very much. Remember that they love you and care for you. And so do I. You’re like a little sibling to me.” Pegs smiled at that. “Aw..Thanks big bro!” Alex snorted at that and started laughing as Eliza walked in with Angelica, both of their arms filled with more bedding and snacks. 

“What’s so funny?” Angelica inquired. “It’s nothing.” Alex said as the two girls sat down. “Everyone here?” Pegs asked, looking around. “Alright, let’s get this movie started!” Alex watched them click ‘play’ on the remote.

* * *

About halfway into the sequel of ‘Mary Poppins’, Mrs. Schuyler called the high schoolers down for dinner. They all went down the stairs together discussing different topics. They all made their own comments about random things like,

“I’ve got chemistry homework for tonight. I can finish it later thought.”

“I think there was a hair in the school lunch yesterday.”

“Hey Lex, an I braid your hair?” 

Alex thought their family was so much better than his own. They all cared for each other. The Christian parents didn’t care if their children were from the LGBTQ+ community. Another plus was that Mrs. Schuyler was really good at cooking, one trait that Alex’s ‘mom’ didn’t have. He wished he could live with them and never go back to his foster home. Of course, that wasn’t possible. He had to legally go back home. In all honesty, Alex believed his ‘parents’ only fostered children for the paycheck they got every month that they were supposed to use on Alex but instead used on themselves.

It was probably true. Mrs. Schuyler had baked lasagna and bread. She also she also threw together a salad. After Mr. Schuyler, who was a very nice owner of a company, said the blessing, the entire family knew exactly what to do as Alex sat there awkwardly, watching them grab food and put it on their plates. He wasn’t used to being able to eat however much he wanted. Alex was used to needing permission to eat. Eliza noticed and said softly to him, “You can eat however much you want. We won’t stop you. Take whatever looks good.”

Nodding, Alex reached for the serving spoon in the lasagna dish and brushed Angelica’s hand, as she was reaching for it too. “Oh, sorry.” He said quickly, retracting his hand from it so Angelica could take the spoon. Angelica backed off the dish and insisted that Alex take it first. “Are you sure Angelica?” Angelica nodded and forced the spoon into his hand to prove her point. He scooped some of the pasta dish onto his plate and delicately placed the spoon back in the dish. 

He cautiously took a bit and he felt like flavors had exploded in his mouth. Eliza saw him smiling and said, “Told ya moms cooking was good.” Eliza made sure Alex are every bite before handing him a piece of bread and watching him eat it. “Have some salad too.” He began scooping it onto his plate and Alex started to eat it. When his plate was empty he realized how hungry he had been. “Want any more food, Alex?” Eliza asked in a motherly tone. She had heard her mom use it multiple times. “I think I’m good. Thanks ‘Liza.” Eliza smiled. “Glad you’re full.” And he was. He forgot what being full felt like, but it felt good.

Alex used to only get the bare minimum of food that he needed to get by at home. But at the Schuyler household they would always make sure he was fed properly. They made him feel like he belonged. Alex of course knew that he had to go back to his house.

And when he did, his beautiful dream would coming crashing down and replaced by a horrid nightmare. So when it was time to go home, he sat in the front seat fidgeting with Mrs. Schuyler in the drivers seat and Eliza in the backseat. When they got to Alex’s foster home, Alex stepped out of the car with Eliza and they walked together to the door. Eliza rapped her knuckles against the door and waited until it opened. When Alex’s ‘mother’ opened the door she had a huge smile on that Alex knew was fake. “Thanks for bringing him home. Say that I said thank you to your mother as well.”

Alex turned to Eliza and said, “Thanks for letting me come over ‘Liza.” He hugged her and heard her say, “Anytime ‘Lex. Bye.” After they pulled away, Alex watched Eliza and her mom drive away before being dragged into the house. Immediately he was being interrogated by his ‘father’ about his visit.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ((Ps I’m probably going to change the title of this to (~Abandoned~) because I feel like it fits better))

Alex’s ‘father’ asked him multiple questions before sending him up to bed. He asked things like,

“How big is their house?”

”What’d they make you for dinner?”

”Did Mr. Schuyler talk about his company?”

”How close are you with their daughters?”

”Are you even trying to get them to date you?”

After those questions and a list more, Alex was finally dismissed from his spot on the hideous couch and stumbled up to his room exhausted. Only when he lay down under his thin covers did he realize that his ‘father’ didn’t hit him that time. It was strange, but Alex didn’t complain. At least he wouldn’t be unable to sleep due to sharp pains. After checking for texts from Aaron and finding none, he put his phone away, tucked his bag under his bed, and fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

_Water. Everywhere. All Alex could see was water swirling around him, and trapping him in a way in which he knew he could never escape. Alex couldn’t tell which way was up, but his feet found something, and kicked up, sputtering and gasping for any air once he struggled to break through the surface. Once above the water, it was tiring to keep above the water and not sink._

_Alex wasn’t the best swimmer, despite the fact that he lived right next to the ocean. He couldn’t get over his fear of the water. And this was why. Because he heard the stories of people drowning and now he would be in one of those tales. Or maybe not because no one really knew him. If they did, they thought negatively of him. Alex struggles toward a stray piece of what used to be a dining room table and once he reached it, he gripped it like it was his lifeline, which, it was._

_As he clung to the wood, he looked around with wide eyes, looking for his foster family. He started panicking when he didn’t see them at all. That’s when Alex saw the body in the water. Because of the storm, it wasn’t peacefully floating. It was being thrashed around in the waves. Alex tried to float over with the wood, kicking as hard as he could. Finally, he reached the small form when his last shreds of hope were washed away like his breakfast was washed away in the waves when he saw the body._

_Alex tried his best to lift his little foster sibling onto the wood, and finally succeeded. He was now wet, and he wasn’t even trying to stay calm. Alex tried to shift so he could see if his sibling was breathing. “Kadin. Please answer me. Please just be unconscious.” Alex didn’t know how to do CPR, and he was so scared for his sibling. He tried to ease off zir shirt. He thought maybe taking off zir binder would help . He struggled with it and then it was finally free. Clutching it in his hand, Alex watched Kadin’s shirt float away. Alex took off his coat and pulled it around zir so ze would be covered. He tried to check zir pulse and found it was very faint._

_“Kadin, stay with me. I’ll get you help.” Alex looked around frantically but couldn’t find anywhere for shelter. Then he remembered the church. He pushed the wood and kicked his legs as hard as he could to push his sibling in that direction last the raging waves. When he finally reached the church, one hand was clutching Kadin’s binder and the other was struggling to push the wood. Finally the water was shallow enough, and he carried his limp sibling into the building and laid zir down on the floor._

_He got many weird looks. No one liked him. He was the orphan that begged for things until he was taken in by the adoption agency. Alex stole things from people but no one had enough evidence that he did it. One doctor walked over to Alex and Kadin and asked, “Is she okay?” Alex bit back a retort before saying, “Ze’s unconscious.” The doctor looked strangely at Alex and asked, “Are you foreign? You have an accent.” Alex almost groaned. He was used to this. “No. I meant to say ‘ze’. Now do your job and help my sibling!”_

_The doctor jumped and got to work on a checkup. Alex watched as his sibling’s chest stopped rising. His breath suddenly choked in his throat and he let out a strangled sob as the doctor was trying to revive zir. The doctor stood back up with a cold expression and looked at Alex before speaking in a monotone voice, “I’m sorry for your loss.” It took all his will for Alex to not jump the doctor._

_”If you weren’t so focused on zir preferred gender pronouns, you could’ve saved zir! Now Kadin is dead and it’s all your fault. And now I’m alone again! I bet you don’t know how that feels.” The doctor stood there in silence and let two other doctors pass with a white linen sheet that was damp. Alex watched them start to lay it on Kadin’s body before he called out, “Wait, stop!” The doctors paused in surprise as Alex kneeled next to Kadin._

_Alex elevated zir head so he could place it on his lap. He stroked Kadin’s hair and whispered softly, “You really were my companion. Your name fits. I’m glad you chose it.” The doctors watched him, unsure of what to do. “I-I hope you don’t mind if I..if I keep this..” he held up the binder like Kadin could see it. “I’ll miss you. Bye Kadin. Maybe I’ll get lucky and get to see you soon.” He softly kissed zir cold and wet forehead, and gently lay zir head gently on the floor. “Alright...I’m done.”_

_The doctors draped the cloth over the 13-year old’s petite frame as Alex’s eyes filled with tears that he refused to spill._

* * *

Alex jerked awake, his eyes filled with tears. He looked out and saw rain crashing against the window and he sat up in bed and curled into himself, hugging his knees to his chest. Alex just rocked himself back in forth as he he hummed a little tune he used to sing with Kadin.

* * *

_“You’re my companion, and I’m your defender._

_I’m like a lion and you’re like a lamb._

_You’re neither he or she...though I’m a he._

_It'll be you and me.”_

* * *

Alex remembered zir brightening blue eyes and clear laugh. He continued to hum the tune before saying, “You were a good companion, but I couldn’t defend you in the end. I’m no lion, and you’re no longer a lamb. You’re neither he or she and I am a he. I guess it doesn’t matter now because it’s only me.” Drawing his knees tighter to his chest, he stayed like that all night, listening to the harsh blowing of wind as the drops of water assaulted the windows. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slight ⚠️: Alex’s description when he wakes up is kinda gross  
> ⚠️: Unsafe binding

Alex woke up curled up in a ball and sitting up against his bed’s headboard. His runny nose had dried and crusted against the skin between his lip and nose. Alex rubbed the corner of his eyes with a finger to get the mucus out. He felt phlegm in his throat. He slowly uncurled himself and slid out of bed. He walked to the bathroom and coughed all the mucus out of his throat before thinking, ‘This is what I get for crying myself to sleep, I guess.’ After Alex wiped off his face, he went back to his room and changed out of his clothes from yesterday.

He changed and pulled on jeans and a sweater like always before stepping into sneakers and grabbing his bag. Alex walked into the kitchen and snuck a granola bar from the kitchen before walking out of the house before his ‘mom’ got up. Alex got to school and walked to the bathroom after the gates opened like the day before. He pulled out the palette, and this time he chose a dark red color. As he was pushing the makeup back into his bag he remembered the lipstick that Pegs gave him and pulled it out before applying it carefully, making sure it didn’t smudge at all.

He looked at his reflection and smiled. He looked pretty. He pulled his hair into a bun on his head, slung his bag over his shoulder, and walked to his first class. He sat next to John like always and soon Theo came into the room and sat on the other side of Alex. John looked over and then said, “Your makeup looks nice today Alex.” Alex’s eyes brightened and found himself blushing. “Thanks, John.” Theo peered around to get a better look at Alex’s face before giving a playful wolf-whistle. “Damn ‘Lex. Work it girl!” John, Alex, and Theo all started giggling with everyone looking at them.

Mr. Adams walked in as the three stopped laughing and looked over Alex with a face crossed with confusion and disgust. “Hamilton, I’ll see you after class today.” Alex smirked at the teacher before saying, “That you will.” The teacher growled before turning to the board and starting the lesson.

* * *

After class, Alex walked up to the teacher’s desk and sat in front of it. Mr. Adams glared at him as he started. “Now, you probably know why I called to speak with you.” Knowing fully well why, Alex decided to get snarky and say smugly, “No, no I don’t. Won’t you be so kind as to tell me soo can be on my way to a class I’m going to be late to?”

Glaring at the disrespectful student he said, “The makeup on your face is unacceptable. It’s distracting and it’s not proper for you to be wearing it. I let it slide yesterday because I thought you would realize how wrong it was. But then you did it again.” Alex’s brow went up before he said, “Sir, with all do respect, we live in America. A free country. It’s not illegal or against school dress code for me to wear makeup, is it? I feel confident in myself when I wear it and I’m more insecure without it. So, I think our conversation here is over. Have a great weekend Mr. Adams.”

With that, Alex stood up from his seat and strut out the door without being dismissed.

* * *

”He said WHAT?!” Angelica shouted once Alex retold the story to the lunch table. “He said it was improper for me to wear makeup. I put him in his place and walked out though. He was speechless.” Angelica put a hand over her heart and said softly, “I’m so proud of you.” Alex gave her a smile and the group continued eating. “Hey we’ve got another debate meeting today. Could your mom tell my parents I’m at your house again today?” Alex asked Eliza.

”Yeah, of course.” She answered almost immediately. “Fantastic. You guys are the best.” Pegs chimed in with a, “Yeah, we know that bro. Don’t have to tell us.” Alex just smirked, rolled his eyes and shook his head.

* * *

In the debate meeting, Jefferson looked insanely uncomfortable about being chosen for to opposing side on the gender rights debate. That was understandable because his best friend was transgender and he didn’t want to offend his friend. As Jefferson and Alex debated, Jefferson was confused when Alex’s eyes suddenly went wide. Alex heard something that sounded too familiar. He whipped around and noticed James was trying to subtly clutch his chest in attempt to soothe the pressure.

He was letting out forced breaths that Alex recognized immediately. Kadin breathed like that when zir binder was on for too long or on too tight. Alex abandoned his place at the front of the room, and surprised Jefferson by rushing to where Madison was seated. Alex quickly took of his hoodie and wrapped around James before saying, “I know what’s happening. I know how to help. Here, take it off under my hoodie. You can keep it until tomorrow so you can hide things you don’t want seen. I had a sibling with a binder and I know how to help.” James started shaking his head as Alex was handing him the sweater. “No. Then everyone will know.” At this point Jefferson knew something was wrong and tried to come over before Alex put his hand out, stopping him. “No. Jefferson I know how to help him. Just let me help him, okay?” Jefferson nodded slowly before backing off. Everyone in the room was looking strangely at Alex and James. “Breathe with me and count with me. One two three four five.” James breathed before repeating, “One two three four five.” Alex smiled before saying, “Good. Now five four three two one.”

”Five four three two one.” Alex nodded before handing the hoodie to James. “Okay, now put this on and I’ll help you unfasten it. You’ll feel so much better. Are you okay with me taking it off, James?” The boy nodded as he pulled in Alex’s hoodie. Jefferson watched stiffly as Alex reached down his best friend’s shirt and slowly undid the fastens in the back before letting it fall down for James to pull out from under his shirt.

After it was off, James was still wincing when he breathed but he looked a bit better. “Th-Thanks, Alex.” Alex smiled. “Anytime. I’ve learned from my sibling that binding can be really painful and hard. You really need to be safer. You could get sent to the hospital.” James nodded and Alex walked back to the front of the room after giving James a soft smile.

“Now where were we?”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I wanted to say that I don’t want readers to get the impression that I’m making Alex cross dress because everyone loves the makeup. I added it on because it’ll be important to the plot.

After the debate meeting, Angelica and Alex went together to the front of the school to wait to get picked up by Mrs. Schuyler. Out of the corner of his eye, Alex saw Jefferson slowly walking in their direction. At first Alex thought he was coming over to talk to Angelica until he started talking to Alex. “Hey.” He said simply, hands shoved in his pockets, with his feet shifting nervously. “Hey?” Alex asked, with a look of confusion resting obviously on his face.

”Uh-I...I wanted to thank you. For what you did for James. I’ve never known how to calm him down.” Alex smiled up at Jefferson and said, “It’s all about staying calm yourself. Next time it happens, have him count to five and then count backwards from five. Have him take five deep breaths before repeating the counting until he’s calmer. Then proceed to remove the binder. Removing the binder is the top priority. Do it as quickly as you can. The longer it’s on, the longer the damage stays.”

Jefferson listened to all of this with rapt attention, nodding to everything Alex was telling him. “Thank you. If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know so much? Are you-“ Alex chuckled and shook his head. “No, not me. Um-I actually had a sibling who wore a binder. Ze wasn’t the safest person when it came to binding.” Jefferson raised a brow. “You have a sibling?” Alex bit his lip and shook his head. “Keyword in that was ‘had’, Jefferson. I _had_ a sibling.” 

Alex didn’t catch the way Jefferson’s eyes flickered down to his covered arms before he said, “Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.” Alex shrugged, trying his best to stay emotionless. “It—It was a long time ago. Hey, I think your mom’s here Ange.” Alex pointed to a car that was pulling into the driveway. Angelica hugged Jefferson and gave him a soft kiss before Alex pulled her towards the car.

* * *

At the Schuyler house, Alex was once again in Eliza’s room. Except for this time, the three siblings were talking about clothes. There was a point where Eliza had shamelessly stripped to show Alex a dress she had. She wanted him to tell her his honest opinion on it. After Eliza’s siblings got the idea that it was okay to dress in front of the poor boy, Alex knew the three _a lot_ better, and not emotionally. He found out things like how Angelica had a scar on her side that went down her hip. Alex found out that Peggy wasn’t flat-chested, they wore a binder. 

Pegs was just really good at hiding it. Eliza was twirling in a dark green skirt for the others in the room before asking for their opinion. “It looks really really pretty, ‘Liza.” Alex said honestly. Angelica’s face suddenly flashed from an admiring face to a mischievous one. She looked from Alex to Eliza, sizing them both up. “Hey Alex can you stand by Eliza please?” 

Alex just shrugged and went to go join his friend. Angelica’s smile brightened, and soon Pegs was joining in. They were both grinning like madmen. “Psst, Eliza come here.” Angelica beckoned her sister over, and Pegs scooted closer to them. Angelica whispered something and Eliza turned back to look at Alex before turning back to the conversation and adding a comment. Alex, who was genuinely curious, and honestly a little scared, questioned, “What’re you talking about?”

Eliza turned around smiling before slipping the green skirt down her legs and tossing it to Alex. Flustered, Alex caught it and stared at the clothing item in his hands. “B-But—What? I-Um...aren’t skirts just for girls?” Pegs gave him a lopsided smirk. “Isn’t makeup just for girls? No, it isn’t. And skirts aren’t either. Try it on. You’re about Eliza’s height.” Alex was about to go to Eliza’s bathroom to change before remembering that the siblings all undressed in front of him. He didn’t want them to be uncomfortable and think he was some pervert for watching them dress and refusing to do it himself.

So he calmly took off his pants and felt slightly self-conscious as they stared at him as he slid the skirt up his legs. Then Alex remembered that they were his best friends, and they loved and cared for him. When the waistband was rested over his hips he gave a shy twirl while the siblings gave out squeals of obvious approval. They screeched things like, “OH MY GOD YOU LOOK SO PRETTY!” And, “WORK IT, ALEX!” And, “JUST ONE MORE SPIN, PLEEASE?!” And, “A HOT BABE IN MY SISTER’S ROOM! REPEAT, A HOT BABE IS IN MY SISTER’S ROOM!” (The last one was Pegs.)

Alex laughed at his friends and he was about to take the skirt off when Mrs. Schuyler pushed open the doors to investigate what all the screaming was about. Her eyes swept around the room before they landed on Alex. Her hand went over her heart and her eyes widened as she beamed wide. “Oh my goodness, dear. You look really nice.” Alex flushed, embarrassed. “Th-Thanks I guess...” 

Alex still didn’t feel very comfortable in the skirt, but if it made him look that attractive.... His thoughts were interrupted by Mrs. Schuyler asking, “Are you staying for dinner again, dear?” Alex nodded. “Yeah, that’d be great. Thank you.” With that, the woman left the room to put another plate on the table.

* * *

This time at dinner, Alex was a little less hesitant about taking food from the dishes. He talked openly at the table with the family. After dinner, he wanted to help Mrs. Schuyler in the kitchen so he picked up a few plates from the table before walking them over to the kitchen. He didn’t see a crack in between the dining room and the kitchen, resulting in him tripping and dropping the stack of plates, shattering them. 

Alex yelped and tried to get all the shards in a pile with his hands. Hearing the crash, Mrs. Schuyler rushed to where Alex was. “Alex, no!” Startled by her loud voice, he started apologizing at a rapid speed that was fast even for him. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorry. I-I didn’t mean it, oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Mrs. Schuyler came over with a broom and swept the shards away from Alex. 

“Honey I’m not mad about the plates. I was loud because I was worried that you would cut yourself. Are you alright?” Confused, Alex nodded slowly as he stood up. “I-I think so...y-you’re not mad? I’m not going to get punished or...or hit?” Alex slapped his hands over his mouth as Mrs. Schuyler’s eyes widened. She rushed towards him and hugged him tightly. “Honey I would never hit you. I’m not mad. At all. I’m just glad your okay. I would never hit my children.”

That made Alex’s heart almost stop. She included him in her group of children. Alex smiled softly as he hugged the woman back. “Thank you ma’am.” Mrs. Schuyler pulled back and said, “You’re welcome. Now go have fun with the others. I’ll finish up here.” Alex was hesitant until Mrs. Schuyler said, “Go on.” He smiled and thanked her again before walking up the stairs to get to Eliza’s room.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ps: I’m going to use the Schuyler parents first names bc I don’t want to keep typing Mrs. Schuyler and Mr. Schuyler when they’re talking alone in a room.  
> Pps: it’ll probably be a short chapter

Once she watched Alex walk up the stairs, Mrs. Schuyler abandoned the dishes and went up to her bedroom. She lay next to her husband who was reading a book. “Philip.” She said softly. The man lifted his eyes from the book. “Yes Catherine?” Philip asked. “How would you feel about adoption?” Catherine asked. Surprised, Philip answered, “I’d be happy to do adoption, but why so suddenly?” Catherine sighed before saying, “Well, Alexander wanted to help me with dishes and he accidentally tripped and shattered the plates he was holding.” Philip shrugged. “That’s no big deal.”

Catherine nodded before continuing. “Yeah, I know. But Alex said something when I rushed towards him. He kept apologizing and when I said I didn’t care about the plates, he said ‘so I’m not going to be punished? Or hit?’ Obviously, someone put it in his head that he would get hit for every mistake he made. Honestly, I don’t think Alexander is safe in his home. Actually I know he’s not safe. That explains the bruises on his legs the first day.”

Philip put the book down. “Well, if it means giving him a safer home, let’s call an agency.” Catherine reached for her phone on the nightstand next to her and typed something into the search bar. After scrolling for a bit she said, “Damn it. We need to go through classes and stuff, but Alex needs to get out of there NOW. Damn it!” Philip put his hand on his wife’s shoulder in an attempt to calm her down. “Hey. What if we find a foster home for him with someone we trust. What about your coworker who’s going through certification soon? Mr. Washington?”

”That’s a brilliant idea, honey. I’ll ask him on Monday. I think Alex should stay with us overnight. Possibly the weekend. I’ll drive over to his house right now and explain that. Also, don’t tell Alex that we’re getting him out. I don’t want it to slip to his foster parents or he refuses to leave the home. Bye, I’ll be back.”

* * *

Catherine drove to the small house and knocked on the door. This time a man opened it. “Where’s the kid?” He asked gruffly. “Oh-I want to let you know that Alex will be staying with us overnight. Is it possible he could stay the weekend as well?” Something flashed into the mans eyes that Catherine couldn’t decipher. “Oh sure, take him. Bring him back Monday night though.” Catherine nodded and went back to her house to tell Alex.

* * *

”I can’t believe I’m actually spending the night! I haven’t ever done this sleepover thing.” Alex said, excited as he lay on Eliza’s bedroom floor in some of Eliza’s pajamas. “You've never been to a sleepover? Oh my god! I’m getting Pegs and Angie. They’re soo sleeping with us tonight. This’ll be so fun. I’ll sleep on the floor too!” The girl jumped off her bed and rushed to get her siblings in her bedroom. Soon they all came back with pillows, blankets, and snacks. 

They started a movie and turned the volume down, eating snacks. After it finished, they just started talking about random things and finishing up the food until Mrs. Schuyler came to turn the light off and get them to bed. Her eyes passed Alex as she stood at the door to say goodnight and she gave him a warm smile. “Goodnight guys, I love you.” 

Alex smiled into his pillow at that. Someone said that they loved him. And it was real. It wasn’t fake. It wasn’t so the social worker believed her lies. It was genuine, and Alex felt so loved being surrounded by his friends- No. Surrounded by his siblings on the floor.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve realized a lot of my chapters start with Alex waking up—oops...i decided to switch up WHO’S waking up—

Eliza sat up in her sleeping bag dazed. Why was she in her sleeping bag? And why was she on the floor? Then she looked over and saw Alex sleeping peacefully on the floor next to her. She smirked as she saw Pegs spreading out on the floor, their sleeping bag abandoned. Pegs’s arm was draped across Alex’s chest at an awkward angle. Pegs’s right leg was over Angelica’s stomach. Angelica started to stir and she finally woke up to find her sibling’s leg on top of her.

She groaned and pushed Pegs off of her. Pegs didn’t even start to stir. Angelica snickered and stretched before walking over to Eliza’s sleeping bag. “You’re awake too?” She asked. Eliza looked her dead in the eye and said, “No.” Angelica rolled her eyes and lay on the emptiness of Eliza’s sleeping bag, while Eliza just lay there. “Look at him. I’ve never seen him so peaceful before.” Eliza breathed, motioning towards Alex. (Who Pegs started cuddling in their sleep.) Angie looked over and smiled at the boy. “Should we wake them up?” Eliza shook her head. “No. He needs the rest. Maybe Pegs though...” 

The two sisters went over and gently unwrapped Pegs’s arms from Alex’s torso and gently shaking them. After that did nothing, Angelica looked around the room and found an empty chip bag. She went back to her sibling and crinkled it lightly in their ear. Pegs immediately perked up. “Who’s eating without me?” They said. “Shh.” Eliza whispered, finger to her dry lips. “Alex is sleeping.” Pegs looked over to find the boy they was just cuddling and let out an, “Awh...he’s so peaceful.” 

Eliza and Angelica smiled. “We know.” Angie breathed. Eliza went to grab her phone. “Would it be creepy if I took pictures of him? He looks so adorable when he’s asleep.” Angie and Pegs just shrugged and Eliza clicked on the camera app. Eliza snapped a few pictures before showing them to her siblings. Alex was wearing Eliza’s shirt. It was an oversized shirt, even on Eliza, so the sleeves went over his hands.

”I have another question.” Eliza said quietly. “Would it be weird if I put this as my lock screen?” Angie just snorted and shrugged. “I mean...just don’t let him see.” Alex started to stir and then he opened his eyes. He suddenly held his breath and then Pegs said, “Angie, you woke him up!” Angelica glared at Pegs and argued, “I did not, he woke up by himself!”

Confused, Alex sat up and rubbed his eyes, yawning. “Why am I here? Oh shit, I better get home, my parents are going to be so mad at me.” Alex started to get up before Eliza stopped him. “Remember? You stayed the night! Our mom went to talk to your parents and they agreed to let you stay for the weekend! What do you want to do?” Alex thought for a moment before asking slowly, “Can I get breakfast?” It was a rare meal that Alex only got when he was brave enough to take something from the kitchen. “Sure!” Eliza said brightly. “Since there’s a guest, dad might make pancakes. C’mon!” Pegs added, scrambling to get to their room and get dressed. Angelica waved goodbye and went to her own room, leaving Alex and Eliza alone.

”Um-I don’t have any clothes...” Alex mumbled. Eliza rolled her eyes and went to her closet before rummaging around. She pulled out skinny jeans that were a bit too big on her, and black long sleeve crop top. Eliza tossed the clothes over to Alex and then got dressed in an airy, light green, long-sleeved dress. She gave it a twirl and Alex clapped in approval. Alex quickly got dressed and then the two went down for breakfast. When they got downstairs, Alex felt an urge to put his hands around his stomach to hide himself, but then realized the point of a crop-top.

Angelica and Pegs looked at Alex before smiling at his outfit. Mrs. Schuyler looked really happy when she saw Alex. “Good morning honey. You look nice. Is that Eliza’s?” She asked encouragingly. Alex shyly nodded before sitting in an empty seat next to Pegs. Mr. Schuyler came over with a plate of pancakes. Alex’s stomach grumbled, and Pegs, who was the only one who heard, poked him in the ribs and giggled. 

Everyone got food on their plate and started eating as they began planning out their day. “I was thinking we could go to the mall and get Alex some of his own clothes and palettes.” Angelica said, before putting a bite in her mouth. “That’d be a great idea. How about it, ‘Lex?” Pegs asked him. Alex shrugged. “Sure. That’d be fun.” Eliza smiled. “Then it’s settled. Mom, can we use the car?” Mrs. Schuyler nodded and Eliza rushed off to get the keys for Angelica. Angie was the only sister with her license, though she didn’t drive to school. She actually hated driving.

Once Angie was thrown the keys, she swung them around her pointer finger, caught them, and all the kids stood up to go outside. Angelica unlocked the door before Pegs rushed ahead, jumped in the driver’s seat and yelled out the window, “GET IN LOSERS, WE’RE GOING SHOPPING!” Their sisters snorted at her reference whereas Alex was just confused. Pegs scrambled to the back row of the car so Angie could get in the driver’s seat. Alex sat in the back with Pegs on his request, so Eliza took the passenger’s seat. “Let’s go to the mall!” Angie called before Alex heard the engine roar.


	22. Chapter 22

The siblings and Alex reach the mall and get out of the car. Once Alex and Pegs get out of the car, Angie’s jaw suddenly drops as she looks at Alex and she said, “Was that legal?” Alex’s head dropped to the direction of his shoulder in confusion. “What do you mean?” Angelica locked the car with her keys before saying, “Like...—“ Eliza, who was standing behind Alex was shaking her head at Angelica so she dropped it. “Never mind. Let’s go shopping. I saw this cute dress that would look amazing on you Lex!” The siblings all started walking confidently towards the building with Alex scrambling to keep up, feeling like a lost puppy.

The four walked into the mall and Pegs immediately took the lead, dragging Alex to a shoe store. “Come on Alex! You can go clothes shopping later. Let’s get shoes first!” Alex smiled at their antics before letting himself get dragged to the store by Pegs with Angelica and Eliza following close behind. Before Alex could stop them, Pegs went for the heels as soon as they walked through the door. Pegs stopped abruptly in front of the heels and turned to Alex. “Whats your size? Any specific colors you want? Styles? How high do you want the heel?”

”Um...I-I don’t know....Uh—these look nice.” Alex pointed at some black ones. It had a strap around the ankle and a 4.5” wrapped block heel. Pegs picked a few sizes they thought would fit Alex before dragging him over to measure his feet. Peering down at the little number, Pegs said, “Women’s 10. Damn, you have small feet for a guy. That’s my size.” Alex laughed as they dragged him over to the bench before taking the top off a box. “I think we established that the other night when I wore your heels.”

Alex let Pegs fit the shoes on his foot before they fastened the strap around his ankle. Once they were done, Alex turned both ankles in circles to get used to it. Then Pegs held out their hands to help Alex up. Alex grasped them and stood before trying to balance out. When he was good, he straightened his back and let go of Pegs’s hands. Alex took a few wobbly steps down the aisle before his strides became stronger. He turned at the end of the aisle and walked back to the clapping siblings.

”They look amazing! Good pick, Alex.” Eliza encouraged. “Yeah! And they make you taller, so that’s a bonus!” Pegs exclaimed, leading him over to a mirror. “Pegs, I’m literally like an inch shorter than average height.” Alex said as he struck a pose in the mirror. He put his right hip out before raising his hands above his head, making the crop top ride up his torso, revealing his ribs.

”Okay, hot! They match your outfit! Oh my god this is amazing.” Angelica said excitedly before dragging Alex to the bench so they could take the shoes and pay for them. 

* * *

After paying for the shoes, Angelica put the box in Alex’s arms before saying, “If you want, we can go to the bathroom so you can change your shoes to the heels if you want to walk around with those.” She gave him a wink and waited for him to respond. Alex looked from the shiny black heels to his dirty tennis shoes and then remembered the really nice outfit he was wearing before saying, “I’ll change into the heels. It’ll match my outfit better.” Angelica smiled and brought him to a men’s bathroom.

* * *

After Alex walked out of the bathroom, tennis shoes in the box, and heels on his feet, the siblings looked him up and down and smiled. “Looks great Alex! Now let’s go get clothes and makeup. What do you want to do first?” Alex thought it over before deciding he was too excited for the makeup to wait. “Um-can we do makeup first please?” 

“Sure thing! Let’s go.” And do the four started walking to a makeup shop next. “Grab whatever you think looks good. Don’t you dare worry about the price. Eliza, Pegs, if he seems interested in ANYTHING, grab it and put it in the cart. I don’t care if it’s $5 or $5,000. We’re making this boy feel confident and that’s worth $5,000,000. Let’s go!”

Alex looked around before timidly asking to get help with finding his color for foundation and concealer. Eliza happily helped him swatch different colors before finding the right one for him. Angelica grabbed the best quality one before Alex could stop her and put it in the cart. They went and got multiple lip shades from dark red, to light red, to black. They got him a clear gloss, and then went over to the eye products. 

“What colors do you want Alex? Any palettes stick out to you?” Alex looked over at a darker palette that looked really pretty, and it had lots of colors, but then he looked down at the price tag and immediately looked up from him. But he looked right into Eliza’s eyes. She looked from Alex to the palette before looking back at Alex and smiling. She grabbed it and put it in the cart. “He was making eyes at this one.” She said before taking Alex over to the eyelashes and eyeliners. Angelica grabbed the ones Alex wanted before turning around and saying, “Is there anything else? Any glitters, blushes?” Alex looked timidly into the basket and saw that there was already a lot of expensive makeups in there. “No, no. I think I’m good.” 

They all walked over to the counter to pay for the things in the basket. Alex watched the monitor as the number kept getting higher and higher. When it finally stopped it was $1820. His eyes widened as Angelica just looked at the number and...did she yawn? She just slid her card with no problems, no shocked expressions, no telling Alex to put stuff back.

After they were done, Eliza excitedly said, “Now for clothes!!”


	23. Chapter 23

This time Eliza took the lead, dragging him over to the women’s section. Alex had a thin form, so many of the clothes would fit him with no problem. She took some shirts off the rack before looking around for some skirts in multiple styles and colors. Then Alex noticed that Eliza’s hand hovered over thicker mid-thigh stockings. Eliza rose her eyebrow and turned to look at Alex. “If you think they’ll look good on me!” Eliza grabbed them and put them in her little pile of clothes. “Alex, only tell me to get things that YOU like, okay?”

Alex gave her a small smile and said, “No, I trust you. Get whatever you think will look good on me. Then I can choose what I like when I’m in the changing room. That’s when the siblings started scouting around the entire store grabbing tops, skirts, dresses, stockings, leggings, and shorts. When they were done they dragged Alex into a dressing room.

The first outfit consisted of a dark green blazer with a matching plaid mini skirt. Under the blazer was a simple white long sleeve shirt. Alex decided that the black stockings Eliza picked out matched it so he took off the heels and slid them up his legs before putting the heels back on. “I feel like a schoolgirl.” He said, before looking into the changing mirror. The siblings were also in the changing room with him, so they looked around him, walking in a circle, looking at every bit of the outfit. 

“You look good, Alex. We could probably brush your hair...maybe curl it? I think I’ve got a bow at home we could put in it...curled ponytail with a bow? How does that sound, guys?” Angelica asked, inspecting Alex. Alex saw her siblings giving him a thumbs up before he put on another outfit.

This one was a cream colored bodycon dress, that hugged his alarmingly thin waist. The siblings made concerned eye contact but didn’t say anything about being able to see the boy’s ribs.

The next was a crop top. This one was short sleeved and black with a bisexual flag printed across it. It was cut to end right under the ribs. Alex also wore black leggings that were from the men’s section. “You’re bisexual, right?” Eliza asked, looking at Alex’s reaction to the shirt. She was feeling anxious until he smiled widely. “Yeah-Yeah I am. Thanks Eliza.” Eliza smiled at him before tossing him another outfit.

The next one was skinny jeans and a pink sweater that had sleeves that covered Alex’s hands. “Awh, you look so cute!” Pegs said, practically dying. Alex just smiled as he looked into the mirror. Then came the next outfit.

The next was a dark blue overall dress that went down to Alex’s knees. Underneath he wore a dark yellow long sleeved shirt underneath. “I love it!” Alex exclaimed, turning around and admiring the outfit. “I love all of them so much!” Angelica smirked. “There’s even more!” Alex’s eyes lit up and soon he was trying on even more.

* * *

When they went to go pay, the price was way higher than the makeup, but just like Angelica, Eliza just carelessly swiped her card like it was a normal price for her, which it probably was. “Now let’s go get something to eat! I’m starving.” Pegs groaned as everyone took bags from the counter. “Yeah, me too. Alex where do you want to go?” Eliza asked. Alex just shrugged. “I don’t really eat out. I don’t know where to go.”

All their jaws dropped at Alex’s words. “What? You can’t be serious! Pegs look up the nearest In-N-Out, we need to treat our honorary brother right!” Pegs immediately took out their phone and started tapping through apps before typing something into the Maps app. “Got it! Sending directions to you now, Angie.” 

“‘Kay lets go!” Angelica said before they all walked together to the car.


	24. Chapter 24

**(A/N I’m aware In N Out isn’t located where the story takes place but WHO CARES REALLY?!)**

* * *

Angelica pulled up to the restaurant after about five minutes of driving. The siblings all looked really excited to be there with Alex. “The food here is so good!” Pegs assured Alex as they all clambered out of the car. Alex was still wearing his heels when he walked into the restaurant. Eliza and Pegs gave their orders to Angelica so she could go get them all food. Alex just followed her up to the counter to look at the menu. 

He decided on a shake, burger, and fries. He hadn’t had fast food in multiple years. He’d forgotten what a burger tasted like. Once Angelica finished ordering, the cashier gave her cups. Alex looked confused before Angelica said, “It’s for soda.” There were four cups. “But uh-“ Angelica snorted. “Cmon, you haven’t had fast food in how long? I’m pretty sure you’ve forgotten how good soda is. You’re probably not allowed to drink it.” Alex nodded at that. It was true. The siblings and Alex say at a table together just chatting until their number was called.

Angelica went to go get the food before coming back to the table. “Have you been having fun, Lex?” Pegs questioned, grabbing fries and dipping them in ketchup. “Yeah, I’m having a great time! Thanks so much for everything.” Eliza gave him a smile. “Anything for you bro.” Alex beamed at being accepted as a sibling to them. “I love you guys so much, you know that right?” He asked, making sure they knew. All the Schuyler sibling’s hearts melted at this. “We know, we love you too Alex. That’s why we’re doing so much for you. Because we care about you.” Angelica said genuinely. “Yeah, and we’ll never abandon you.” Eliza said with assurance. “Thanks guys, that really means a lot to me.” Pegs went over and gave Alex a hug. 

“Never forget how much we care about you.” When Pegs pulled away, Alex could see someone over their shoulder. Someone they thought they would never see again. Someone who shouldn’t be there. Someone who never abandoned them. Alex shot out of his seat and walked swiftly towards the boy, careful to not trip in the heels. Alex gave the boy a hug before he burst into tears. “Aaron! Aaron, it’s me! Alexander!” Alex knew he was making a scene, but he didn’t care. 

Aaron looked shocked at first before hugging Alex back. “Hey Alex. I’ve missed you. Of course we’ve been texting, but that’s hardly enough. I’m here with my mom. I recently got adopted, remember?” Alex did remember that excited text he got a few months ago. “Yeah, I remember. Do you notice anything different about me?” Aaron steppes back and stood by his mom to inspect Alex’s appearance. “Well, you’re happy. You look amazing in that outfit by the way. And I can tell dressing like this makes you happy. Maybe because the shoes make you taller.” Alex pouted. “Whatever, Burr. Anyways, want to meet my siblings?” Aaron’s eyebrow went up.

“Foster siblings? Or did you get adopted and not tell me? Are they treating you right?” Alex chuckled before saying, “Oh, I forgot to add ‘honorary’ before that. Their like siblings to me. They’re my siblings but not legally, y’know?” Aaron nodded. “Yeah. My mom’s going to order.” He looked at his mom before asking, “Can I go sit with my friends, mom?” The woman smiled and nodded before Alex dragged him off to the table the Schuylers were sitting at. “Hey guys...sorry about that. This is Aaron Burr. The one person who never left me.” 

Eliza stood up and held out her hand. “Elizabeth Schuyler, but any friend of Lexi can call me Eliza. She and her pronouns.” Aaron smiled and shook her hand before the energetic Pegs bounced out of their seat. “Peggy Schuyler, but please call me Pegs. Peggy’s too...feminine. But I won’t kill you if you mess it up. They and them pronouns please.” Aaron shook their hand. “Very well, I’ll remember that.” Last was Angelica, who seemed a little skeptical of the boy before offering her hand. “Angelica Schuyler, she and her pronouns. Also...I have a boyfriend—and I’m a huge feminist. Oh! And if you hurt my siblings, I hurt you.” Aaron timidly nodded and gingerly shook Angelica’s hand. 

Then Angelica immediately smiled like nothing was wrong. “Anyways! Tell us about yourself! How’d you meet Alex?” Aaron made eye contact with Alex before explaining the story with consent from him. “Well....He had just gotten out of an abusive home and he was in a group home I was in. We kind of clicked and became friends ever since.” Satisfied with this answer, Angelica bit into her burger, studying and analyzing Aaron. Pegs leaned forward and looked into Aaron’s eyes. They narrowed their eyes, and Aaron stopped breathing. Soon the sibling backed off before saying, “I trust him. He’s cool. Do you like yellow?” Aaron shrugged. “I think it represents sunlight and happiness. Therefore, yellow is essential to this world. Because happiness is essential to this world, y’know?” Pegs leaned back in their seat. “Yeah, I-I um...I totally agree with that! Yellow rocks!”

Aaron smiled at Pegs before he looked to see Eliza staring at him intently before looking at Alex. Then back at Aaron. “Um-you said Alex was in an abusive home?” She asked with a worried expression. “Um-uh...I used to be in one. It’s much better now.” Alex cut in before Aaron could answer. “But Alex, the second day of school! I can’t just forget the mark on your face—“ Alex put his hand up to stop Eliza from continuing. “I’ll explain everything to you later. Just not somewhere so public, okay?” Eliza nodded before taking a sip of a soda. Soon Aaron’s mom came with Aaron’s food and set it in front of him. 

“There you go dear. I need to take a phone call outside. You’ll be fine in here with your friends?” After Aaron nodded, his mom walked out of the restaurant with her phone. “I’m so glad that Alex had friends while he's in the system. I know how hard it can be. I’m just glad Alex had someone through it all.” Eliza said, swirling the straw around in her cup. “Wait wait wait....” Alex said. “You _know_ how hard it is? H-How?” Eliza looked up in alarm.

”I-I never told you?”


	25. Chapter 25

**⚠️: Mentions of abuse, mentions of rape**

* * *

“I-I never told you?” Eliza asked in a hesitant voice. “No, you haven’t...what happened, Eliza?” Alex asked, urging for her to tell him more. “Not-Not here. I’ll tell you at home. Right now let’s just enjoy our meal. Please?” Eliza gave Alex a sweet smile before going back to her food. All Alex could do was drop the subject and do the same.

* * *

Once Angelica pulled into the driveway, Eliza wordlessly led Alex to her bedroom before sighing and closing the door behind them. “So...you want to know my foster story...I knew it would come out sometime. Knew you would ask sometime why I don’t look like my siblings or parents at all.” To be completely honest, Alex never cared enough to ask.

Sure he noticed, but he couldn’t deny that the Schuylers were siblings and very close siblings. “I-It never occurred to me...” Alex said truthfully. “Well...anyways...My—birth mother gave birth to me after my birth father left her alone. And she...she would...she wouldn’t take care of me. She would give me the bare minimum of necessities...only feeding me about three times a week and I got water maybe ten times a week...but that’s only the beginning....”

* * *

_“Of course, I was taken from the home as soon as someone called CPS once I went to kindergarten. And that’s when I was placed in my first foster home. They were nice enough but they didn’t really do anything for me besides give me enough food and water and drive me to school and back. They never expressed the love that I needed._

_Well, soon they didn’t have the financials to take care of me so I was moved again. I was 6 and a half...Well, this next house was way worse. They um-they started yelling at me and verbally abusing me whenever I disturbed them or did something even slightly wrong. Soon I told the worker after a year living with them. But the homes only got worse._

_When I was 9 I was placed in the home of a now sex offender. The home was fine at first, as the couple was nice. But then when the wife died, the man would come home drunk. He started physically abusing me and he uh...One time he came home and he...Im sorry-He uh...He kept drunkenly telling me how pretty I was before he started touching me in places he shouldn’t be touching. He told me that it was what I deserved and that it should make me feel good._

_Then, a week after the first incident he actually raped me. Before it was just touching, but then he forced himself on me and...well—into me. After a year of the physical, sexual, and mental abuse, I was moved again as a 10 year old girl to a home. This home had another kid in it. He was about 2 years younger than me. He uh—he was a little brother to me, and I always tried my best to connect with him. But then I was moved again._

_To another home. This time, I was placed with an abusive couple who had another foster child. She was a girl who was a year younger than me, and her name was Dolley. Before they started hitting me, they had been hitting her. When I was placed in the home, I tried to keep the abuse on myself so they wouldn’t hurt the young girl. And after two years of being with that family...my mom_ _and dad came and adopted me. I never knew what happened to Dolley. And that’s why I’m always so protective of everyone around me. I don’t want anyone else to feel abused or hurt or alone or—or abandoned...”_

* * *

Eliza’s eyes filled with tears as she finished. “I-I’m so sorry Eliza.” Alex said, holding Eliza in his arms, hugging her tightly to his chest. “It’s fine...I’m fine now. I’m safe with my family and with you. It felt so nice to tell someone all that. I-I asked my parents not to tell Pegs and Angie how abused I’ve been. I didn’t want them to think I was fragile...So they just assumed that my jumpiness around mom and dad was nerves about joining the family.

“Really, I was cautious about them hurting me. But that was...about five years ago. I think-I think I’m okay now...That’s how I knew you were hit with a belt...Because I’ve seen those marks on myself. But Alex, what have you been through?” Eliza asked this with concern in her voice, as she put her head on Alex’s chest as she let him hold her. “It’s a long story...”

”We’ve got time.”


	26. Chapter 26

**⚠️: Abuse mentions**

* * *

“Well...” Alex started, still holding Eliza close to him. He knew he would need comfort. “I guess I should start from the very beginning.”

* * *

_”I was born on a Caribbean island, Nevis. In the St. Croix area. My dad never abused me but he...he wasn’t very responsible. He um-left when I was 10. My brother was 12. A year later, my brother ran away. I don’t know why, but I haven’t heard from him since. A year after that, my mom and I got yellow fever. We were so poor. Mom insisted on using the money to cure me instead of herself. I begged her not to, but she didn’t listen. I got better but woke up one day to see that she-she stopped breathing. She died and I was better and...she’s gone now. I started cutting at this point._

_“I-I was still 12 when I started. Anyways, I was moved to my mom’s cousin’s house. I was 14 when I walked into his room and saw him bleeding out on his bed. He had committed suicide. After that...I went to live with a few foster families until I was placed in a very caring one. Some were more abusive than others. The couple that took me in was very sweet and kind towards me and their kid. I was 16 at the time and the kid was 13. The kid’s pronouns were zir and ze. I didn’t mind. Zir name was Kadin. Ze and I were so close. After a year of me living with them...a hurricane hit. There were such big waves and soon I saw Kadin’s body being thrown around in the water. I tried my best to heave zir onto the floating wood I had and I took of zir binder. Kadin had a faint pulse and I though ze would make it. The doctor...didn’t help zir in time and ze died. I still have Kadin’s binder._

_“But...I miss zir so much. I was shipped off to a foster family at 16 and a half. I was placed in houses that beat me, verbally abused me, and mentally abused me. The worst beating I ever got was so bad that I was hospitalized. The reason for the beating was that I forgot to call the man ‘sir’. I remember one house where a woman tried to touch me inappropriately, but I got out of the placement before she could do anything extreme. Soon I was placed in a group home after about 5 houses of abuse. That’s where I met Aaron. At one home I had acquired a phone from my social worker, and so I added his contact. We’ve been in touch ever since. Well, I’d been self-harming throughout all of this. Only about 5 homes had noticed. Only 1 took me to therapy._

_”One of the worse homes told me that I don’t hurt myself enough. It may sound crazy...but—I-I believed them. I let their words get to my head and so I started cutting more just because a man told me to. I...I’ve never really been in a caring family besides Kadin’s family. But ze is gone now and so are zir parents. I just couldn’t deal with the pain anymore, so I just became distant. I pushed people away so I wouldn’t get hurt more. That’s why I’m so hesitant around the boys in our group. Why I’m so nervous around Jefferson. Because I know that they’re big enough to hurt me if I anger them. And if I’m completely honest, I trust you more than anyone I’ve ever met, Eliza.”_

* * *

”But I guess that’s it. That’s my sob story.” Alex concluded. Eliza bit her lip. “Then I guess we have something in common. We used to push people away so we wouldn’t get hurt. We’re both skittish around people we think can hurt us. But can I tell _you_ something Alex?” Eliza asked. “Sure, ‘Liza.” Eliza cuddled closer to Alex.

“I got better, and so will you. Just remember that your friends love you. I love you. And we both know that John loves you.” After Eliza said that, her eyelids drooped, her breathing evened out, and she fell asleep in Alex’s arms. He gently lay her down on the bed they were sitting on together before pulling the covers over her. “I love you too Eliza...” And after a beat of silence, he said,

”Thanks for everything sis.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because the last two chapters were really heavy, I’m going to try my shot at writing a cuter scene-

Alex gave Eliza one more look before sliding off the bed and taking off his shoes and getting into his sleeping bag. As Alex lay there, he thought of how easily he told all the information to Eliza and how she didn’t judge him. No, not just that. She actually understood him. Alex smiled at the thought. _‘Maybe John would understand too.’_ He wondered this before turning on his side and drifting to sleep.

* * *

The rest of the weekend was fun. The siblings and Alex went to see a movie (he’d never gone), and then played video games on Pegs’s television. (He’d never played video games either.) He slept over at their house again, before waking up on Monday. Alex decided he wanted to wear one of his new outfits so he decided on the bisexual crop top and black leggings. He decided that he had to put one of Eliza’s undershirts underneath to stay in dress code.

Pegs did his hair up in a bun, Angelica did his makeup, and then Eliza inspected the outfit. “Looks great!” She said happily. Alex and the siblings went down for breakfast after Alex ties up his sneakers. Alex knew he shouldn’t get used to it, but it was so nice to know he would get breakfast every morning. Next, the four kids grabbed their bags and Mrs. Schuyler drove them all to school before getting out of the car and hurrying to her class.

As the kids all walked into school, he whispered to Eliza, “Hey...’Liza...I’m thinking about asking John out today. Do you think he’ll say yes?” Eliza started beaming before whispering back, “Yes, I think he will. He said that he would wait until you’re ready, and you’re ready now. So go get your mans.” Alex smiled at her and skipped to class. He sat down next to John in Mr. Adams class and leaned over to say something quietly in his ear.

“Hey John, can I talk to you privately at lunchtime?” John looked at Alex with his brow up before nodding. “Yeah sure.” Mr. Adams walked into the classroom and looked at Alex before rolling his eyes and going to his desk and starting the lesson.

* * *

At lunch, Alex nervously walked up to his friends table. He gently tapped John on the shoulder before guiding him to a quiet place. “So—um, what’s this about Alex?” John asked. “Well, I was thinking for a while last night...and remember how you said you would wait until I was ready?” Alex asked before John nodded quickly with a hopeful look in his eyes.

“Well...um...last night I had a talk with Eliza and I found that it was so helpful to tell someone my problems. So...I think I’m ready now. Erm...if you think you can handle being with me...John Laurens, will you be my boyfriend?” John’s eyes went wide and put his hand over his mouth. He started hopping up and down squealing, “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!!!” **(A/N ‘Yes’ no longer looks like a word to me—)**

“Um...” Alex started slowly. “C-Can I-Can I um...Can I tell Eliza that we’re dating now?” Alex finally asked. He didn’t know if John wanted their relationship public. “Oh yeah! Let’s go share the news! Oh my god, I’m so happy!” John picked Alex up unexpectedly and twirled him around. Alex laughed before he was put back on the ground. “Okay, let’s go!” John grabbed Alex’s hand before they rushed off together to the lunch table. Eliza had a knowing look in her eyes when she saw how happy John looked.

“Um...everyone at this table? May I have your attention?” John asked their friends. Everyone turned to face him. “It’s official. That I’m now currently dating Alexander Hamilton. Oh my god, that sounded so perfect. I’m. Dating. Alexander. Hamilton.” Everyone at the table cheered for them as all the other surrounding tables looked over in a curious look.

“What if we don’t full on tell everyone in the school but just _act_ like a couple until everyone knows...I want people to know we’re dating but I don’t want to tell them directly, you know?” Alex said to John. John squeezes his hand before replying, “Okay. I understand. Now that we’re dating...Um-can I take you to dinner Wednesday night?” Alex smiles before saying, “I’d like that very much.” All their friends clapped again before they sat down together, fingers intwined.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️: The characters debate about foster care, which results in Alex talking vaguely about abuse. It’s not explicit though!

Alex was over the moon with delight after lunch. He felt so much better after letting his past go just slightly and accepting John into his life. He had a huge smile on his face the entire day, practically dancing to his classes.

* * *

When he skipped into the debate room, beaming, the other members of the club turned to look at him in confusion. Alex just brushed it off and sat between Angelica and Theo. Angelica leaned over and whispered, “You got it bad...” Alex looked back at her. “What have I got?” Angelica smiled at his oblivious face before saying, “You’re in love.” Alex blushed at this before nodding shyly. Noticing Jefferson was sitting on the other side of Angelica, Alex tried to whisper quieter. “I can’t believe I’m actually dating him...he’s so—he’s so...he’s so nice and sweet and funny and pretty and he’s just adorable.” Angelica gave him a smirk with a playful look in her eyes. “My little brother is growing up so fast....He’s got a boyfriend. Oh my god Alex. You have a boyfriend.” She whispered. “I have a boyfriend...” Alex agreed. 

Washington stood at his desk and got the students to pay attention. He looked at Alex and smiled at the boy’s joy filled face. “Hello debaters. Today we’ll be talking about the pros and cons of foster care.” Alex looked mildly interested in this, something sparked in his eyes. He desperately wanted to be on the cons. Washington opened his laptop to a randomizer. He clicked the button and Angelica’s name popped up. “Miss Schuyler, you’re on pro.” Angelica went up to the front of the class. Washington clicked the button again and Alex crosses his fingers under the desk before seeing that his name popped up on the screen. “And Mr. Hamilton, you’ll be on cons. Please come up so we can start.” Alex confidently went up the side of the room Angelica wasn’t on. “Angelica, please make your opening statement.” Angelica nodded before stepping up to the center. “There are many pros to foster care. Orphans, or minors who don’t have parents who can take care of them, or when a teen mom can support her child, they can give them to foster care. Foster care can provide and safe and nurturing home for the kids who need it. They can be cared for until they are found a home that they can be adopted into. Thank you.” The students not debating clapped as she went back to her side of the room. “Alexander, your opening statement.” Alex nodded before walking to the center that Angelica was standing. He cleared his throat before starting. 

“Though there are in fact pros to foster care, there are also cons. As a minor in foster care since the age of 12, I can tell you that there are many things wrong with it. First of all, my opponent said that foster care is to give orphans or minors a caring and nurturing home until they can get adopted. Well, from experience I can say that that’s what foster care is _supposed_ to be like. Really, a foster child doesn’t feel part of the family, they can feel neglected or forgotten when the caregivers give more attention to their birth children. Another thing is that many adults only do it for the paycheck. I know, I know, that paycheck is supposed to be for taking care of the child. But in many homes that I’ve been in, they took that money and used it to buy their drugs and alcohol. Also, my opponent said that kids are cared for until they’re adopted. I can say that that statement is untrue. At least for some kids. Many are abused physically, mentally, verbally, and even sexually. Therefore there are more cons than pros. Thank you.” Alex bowed his head slightly before going back to his side. Angelica took the spot again before saying, “My opponent says that foster children are abused, but my sister is adopted, and our parents never told us about any abuse that happened in her life. And all that’s in her file. I think our parents would’ve told us if she was being abused. And another thing, don’t foster parents have to keep track of what they buy using the paycheck? Thank you.” Alex sighed and walked to the center of the room. 

“Angelica....um-again, from personal experiences that I’m not going into detail about...being abused in a foster home isn’t something a child is comfortable with talking about. In fact, we may even beg for caseworkers not to tell about our abuse, or beg the caregivers not to tell their children. Because we don’t want to be seen as fragile. Now, if it’s okay with Mr. Washington, can I ask you a question I want you to answer honestly?” Alex looked at the teacher before he nodded back at the boy. “Okay, Alex.” Angelica said. “Well Angelica...look at me right now. I’ve been in foster care for about 5-6 years now. I’ve never outright told you that I’ve been physically, mentally, verbally or sexually abused, correct?” Angelica just nodded as Alex gave a small smile. 

“Well let me tell you that only two homes I’ve been in have never abused me. You may be asking, ‘What type of abuse?’ I’ll answer that. I’ve been physically abused. I’ve been verbally abused. I’ve been mentally abused. And yes, I’ve been sexually touched by one of my guardians. So Angelica, please do tell me again how foster homes are always safe and nurturing. Because even if I didn’t tell you I’ve been abused, doesn’t mean I’ve never been abused. Because my god, I have been.” Alex turned around and walked back to his side. Angelica was left speechless as she walked to the front of the room. “Well, Alex. I said that _most_ homes are safe. I never said that _every_ home was safe.”

“You never specified. You just said that kids were placed in caring homes. But looking at the statistics...the majority of the homes I’ve been in have been abusive. If that’s the case for the majority of foster kids, the majority of homes are abusive. I’m not saying all homes are abusive, I’m just saying most are.” **(A/N my family does foster care and I’m pretty sure this statistic isn’t accurate at all!! Foster care is actually really great. I just want Alex to win the debate...)** Washington cleared his throat loudly. “Okay, I think that’s all for today...um-May I see Mr. Hamilton please? Everyone’s dismissed.” 


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is VERY short! (Only 439 words.) but I like to section my “abusing” chapters separate so it makes more of an impact...

**⚠️ : Homophobic slur at the end as well as a transphobic one**

* * *

As Alex approaches the teachers desk, he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. He finally sat down in front of Washington and forced himself to look into the man’s eyes. Alex knew the teacher would ask about the abuse he mentioned in the debate. Alex took a deep breath and waited for Washington to start. “First I want to tell you, Alexander, that you’re not in trouble.” _‘That’s how they always start.’_ Alex thought. “I wanted to talk to you about something very important.” _‘Here it comes.’_ Alex continued thinking. “Mrs. Schuyler informed me that you need a foster home as you aren’t in the best situation at the moment.” _‘Wait what?’_ Alex’s train of thought abruptly changed course in confusion. “Well, my wife and I are almost done with certification, and I wanted to ask you...how would you honestly feel if we took you in?” Alex took this information in before remembering how tall Washington was when he was standing and how big he looked. Remembering the man’s size and taking in the offer, Alex shrugged sheepishly before saying,

“I-I um—I er...mean no offense at all sir...but I don’t—I don’t know you well enough to make that decision. May I—get to know you more before? Because I’ve been in homes where the people seemed nice until—they weren’t nice...And I am very observant and I’ve noticed that if I angered you enough, you could hospitalize me. And before you say anything, yes, that’s how I analyze every single foster parent I have. I determine how badly they could hurt me so I know what to expect. So my answer would be—I need to get to know you and your wife more, if that’s alright, sir.” Washington gave Alex a reassuring smile before nodding. “Very well. We’ll contact your agency and set something up. You’re dismissed. Have a good evening.” Alex have him a small smile before thinking to himself, ‘ _How good of an evening can I have when I’m in an abusive home?_ ’ Though he kept it to himself as he walked out of the room to see Angelica was still waiting for him.

* * *

When Mrs. Schuyler dropped Alex off, he prepared himself to be submerged back into the abusive lifestyle. But he made a mistake by not changing before walking into the house. Right when he walked in, his ‘father’ called out, “Oh, so you’re a tranny and faggot now, huh?” Alex’s eyes widened at the words before looking down at his crop top and leggings.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️: Child abuse, homophobia, transphobic slur

Alex froze in fright. He kept repeating in his mind how stupid he was. “ _Did you hear me son?! Answer my question!_ ” His ‘father’ roared. Alex flinched before saying softly, “I-I’m bisexual, sir.” His ‘father’s’ face turned red in anger. “And what about your clothes? And the makeup on you face? Are you a tranny too?” Alex shook his head quickly. “N-No, sir. I-I just I’m...I um-I like dressing like this, sir.” Alex’s ‘father’ made a growling sound and then came closer to Alex. Alex watched in fright as the man slowly took off his belt before walking even closer, swinging it carelessly.

“So...you said your gay, huh?” Alex gulped before walking backwards. “No sir, I said I’m bisexual...there’s a difference.” The man care even closer, looking even angrier. “Not to me. Now come here, maybe I can change your mind.” Alex stayed where he was before his ‘father’ walked towards him and grabbed a fistful of his hair, pulling him to the middle of the room. Alex yelped in shock at the pain, even though it had happened before.

Alex knew the searing pain would come even before the belt was raised. Alex closed his eyes tightly and waited for the impact of the belt. Then the force came harder than it ever had. Alex let out a cry of pain as he felt the belt connect with his stomach. He fell to the floor and hit his head before the belt came down on his legs. All Alex could do was lay there whimpering and crying as the belt came down on him multiple times. His face, legs, stomach, neck, and arms were filled with bruises and cuts that split open.

When his ‘father’ finally got bored, Alex felt his hair getting pulled again as he was forced to stand. He was shoved towards the stairs and he stumbled. “Now get upstairs! Now!” His ‘father’ yelled. “Yes sir.” Alex said quickly, before scurrying up the stairs to his bedroom as fast as he could with his limp. His whole body was on fire just from running up a couple of steps. Everything hurt so bad. Alex reached for his phone to message Aaron, but he passed out from the pain and exhaustion.

He couldn’t even make it to his bed.

* * *

Alex still had a limp the next day. He wore his oversized pink sweater and skinny jeans before pulling on his sneakers and going to the bathroom to quickly cover things up on his face and neck. The jeans rubbed against his bruises and cuts, but it was better than having them seen. He was glad the sweater went past his hands. 

Alex took one of his old shirts and stuffed it in his bag before running out the door before his ‘parents’ woke up. 

* * *

Once he made it to school, he pulled his hair into a bun and tried to stop himself from limping. It didn’t work. It was so painful that soon he stopped trying. Jefferson noticed at some point and walked up to him with a smirk. “What’s with the limp, Hamilton? Was Laurens a little too hard on you last night?” 

Alex glared up at him before deadpanning, “No, my foster father was when he was beating the shit out of me.” Jefferson was definitely not expecting that answer. He just stared at Alex for a bit with wide eyes, before walking away speechless. Alex just sighed and walked to his next class, hoping Jefferson wouldn’t tell.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️: Slight mentions of abuse

John was the next person to realize Alex’s limp. Or at least the next person to mention it. It was during a free period. Right when he saw his boyfriend’s state he rushed towards him in worry. “Oh my god, Lexi. Are you alright? What the hell happened to you?” All these words were falling out of John’s mouth in a rush to get everything out. “It’s nothing babe, I’m fine.” Alex assures John before trying to stop limping. “I promise nothing happened. I’m a little sore from walking home yesterday.” John looked skeptical before saying slowly. “Don’t the Schuylers drive you home after school?” Alex shrugged and said, “I um—walked yesterday...but yeah, they usually drive me. Just not yesterday.”

John hugged Alex close to himself before noticing him involuntarily hissing in pain and flinching. John pulled away immediately and had a worried look written all over his face. “Are you in pain? What happened? Love, who did this to you?” Alex bit his lip. “Um-John...can we have this discussion in a more—private place?” Alex asked slowly, tugging at his oversized sleeve. “Sure thing, Lex. Let’s go to the field. A walk will be nice.” Alex could feel John taking his hand before they walked towards the sports field together. 

Once they reached the field and had been walking around for a bit, hand in hand, John asked, “So...what happened to you?” Alex took a deep breath before saying, “Remember how I told you that I’ve been abandoned and hurt and scarred?” John nodded before Alex continued. “That it’s hard for me to open up to people?” John nodded again. Alex tried to calm himself before saying softly, “I want to tell you why I’m so hurt and affected...No actually let me show you.”

John looked confused as Alex started pulling up the hem of his pink sweater. That was until he saw ugly bruises and slashed across his stomach. “Oh dear god, Alexander. Who did this to you?” John got on one knee in front of Alex to get a closer look at the marks on his boyfriend’s body. “That’s not all...” Alex pulled up his sleeves to reveal bruises that ran all the way up his arms.

”I’ve got more on my face but they’re covered by makeup.” John stood and hugged Alex tightly. “But you never answered my question love. Who did this to you? And why would they do this to you?” Alex could feel tears fill his eyes as he prepared himself. “My foster dad found out I was bisexual and that I crossdress last night and he got mad and started hitting me.” John’s face went from worry to utter horror at Alex’s words. A tear escaped Alex’s eye and John watched it run down his face. John gingerly put his hand on the side of Alex’s face. Alex leaned into the touch, feeling safe and comfortable.

”Why don’t you tell someone who can get you out of there? You shouldn’t be getting treated like that.” John said, worry and horror lacing into his voice. “Mrs. Schuyler knows about it...” Alex said softly as he looked into John’s eyes. “And she’s not doing anything about it?!” John said, his face flushing in rage. “No, it’s not like that. She told Mr. Washington, the teacher who’s getting certified for foster care. That way when they’re certified they can take me until the Schuylers can get paperwork done and adopt me.” 

John’s face softened a bit before he wiped another tear from Alex’s eye with his thumb. “That felt nice to tell you. I’m glad you know now. But please don’t treat me differently...” Alex said this, giving John a small smile, that John returned. “Anything for you, darlin’.” John said with a hint of his Southern accent. Alex chuckled at that. John smiled down at Alex and hugged him again. “You’re cute when you laugh.” He could feel his boyfriend squeeze him tighter. “Not as cute as you.”

”I love you Jackie.”

”I love you too Lexi.”

* * *

”I told John today during free period.” Alex told Eliza in her bedroom. “So he knows now? About your abusive parents?” 

“Foster parents.” Alex corrected automatically. “But yes, he knows about the abuse.” Eliza smiled and pulled Alex into a side hug. “I’m glad you told him. That’s what a healthy relationship consists of. Trust and and abundance of love.” Alex smiled at her before his smile faltered. “But what if he decides I’m too much to handle? What if he leaves me just like everyone else? What if he changes his mind about wanting to date me? What if he doesn’t actually love me and he feels bad for me and that’s why he’s dating me. Or what if h-“ Eliza put a finger over Alex’s mouth, silencing him. “I’ve known John long enough to see the way he looks at you and know he’s in love with you.”

Eliza removed her finger before saying, “If you saw the way he looks at you like the rest of us do, you would have no doubts in your mind that John loves you so much.” Alex’s smile found its way back to his face before he calmed down and said, “You’re right sis. He loves me. He won’t leave. John loves me.” Eliza felt taken aback by what Alex called her. Sure she’d jokingly called him her brother, but Alex said it so seriously, and without missing a beat. It sounded natural, and Eliza loved it.

”When am I wrong?” Eliza joked. Alex remembered something he wanted to talk to Eliza about. “Hey...’Liza, we need to talk.” Eliza raised an eyebrow at this. “About what, Lexi?” Alex cleated his throat before saying, “I think you should tell your siblings about your past in foster care. Angie had no idea during our debate about foster care...I feel like they deserve to know. They love you so much and this won’t change that. Just explain why you didn’t tell them before, tell them you don’t want anything to be different, and then explain everything that happened to you. I can come with you to tell them if you’d like. Just...once I told John about my past everything felt so much better. You should give it a try.”

Eliza fidgeted for a bit before forcing out, “Okay, you’re right, Alex. I’ll call them in right now...I need to tell mom and dad I’m telling them though. Can you stay and maybe hold my hand while I tell them?” Eliza asked the last thing with a hopeful look in her eye. “Of course Eliza. Anything that will help you through this. I swear to you, you will feel so much better afterwards.”

Eliza stood up and walked over to her bedroom door. Before she walked out, she turned around and said, “Thanks for encouraging me to do this Alex.” 

Then she went downstairs to talk to her parents. 


	32. OMG WE HIT 1K HITS

No, this isn’t an update! I just wanted to say thank you for clicking on this story and giving me 1,000 hits! This is the most I’ve ever gotten and I’m so happy. Thank you all for staying with me and enjoying my story. 

I’ll update the story either today or earlier tomorrow! 

Love you guys! 😘🥰


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️: Eliza tells her siblings about her abuse (not in detail)

“Hey mom?” Eliza addressed her mother in the kitchen as she walked up to her. Mrs. Schuyler was cutting carrots for a soup. She turned around before saying, “Yes, dear?” She could see the nervous look on her daughters face. “Um, I think I’m ready to tell Angie and Pegs about...my um-about my abuse. Is it okay if I get some privacy with them and Alex in my room for about 30 minutes? It’d be easier if it was just them.” 

Mrs. Schuyler gave her daughter a smile before setting the knife down on the marble counter. She went to go hug Eliza before saying, “Of course, Elizabeth. I’ll tell your father to not go in there when he gets home.” She pulled away and kissed Eliza on the forehead. “Thanks mom.” Eliza said happily. “You’re welcome. Take your time with your siblings.” 

* * *

Eliza bit her lip before calming herself and opening her older sister’s door. Angelica was laying on her bed on the phone. Angelica looked up to see Eliza standing there nervously. “Oh, I’ll call you back babe.” She hung up on her boyfriend and sat up before tossing her phone away. 

“What’s up, Liz?” Eliza stepped forward and went to go sit next to her sister on the bed. “Angie. There’s something I need to tell you that’s very important. Can you go to my bedroom and wait for me with Alex there? I need to go get Pegs. It’s something I haven’t been honest with you about.” Angie just nodded without saying anything. Then she said nervously, “Ok...I’ll go right now.” 

* * *

Pegs was easier. Eliza pushed open the door to find them on their stomach in front of their television watching Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Pegs was yelling at Umbridge currently. “You little bit—Oh hey Eliza. What’s up?” Pegs quickly paused their movie before turning their attention back on their older sister. 

“Can you come to my room real quick? I need to tell you and Angie something really important that I’ve been keeping from you.” Pegs just shrugged and stood up. “Okay, let’s go.” They skipped ahead of Eliza towards their sister’s room. 

* * *

“So what do you need to tell us. ‘Liza?” Pegs asked. “Well...you of course know that I’m adopted.” The two siblings nodded. “Well....you know I was in foster care...” Pegs and Angie nodded again. Then Pegs looked scared. “Y-You’re not going back, are you?” Pegs asked with a worried tone. Eliza’s eyes widened and she quickly shook her head. “No! No, you’re not getting rid of me that easily! I’m not going anywhere.” Pegs felt an overwhelming rush of relief rush through their body at those words. “Thank God!”

”Well, what is it then?” Angelica asked. She glanced over at Alex, remembering the debate they had. “Well...I haven’t been honest with you about my past.” Eliza said, fidgeting. Alex scooted over and grabbed her hand to assure her.

”I’ve been-I’ve been abused in my foster homes...Like...I’ve been severely abused.” Eliza said softly. Angelica’s theory was correct. Her eyes widened in horror and Pegs gave a soft gasp. “Who did it? What happened?” Angelica demanded. “What did you go through?” Pegs added. “Many of my foster homes...um-Mr. Weeks....Mr and Mrs. Jay...and uhm...I’m sorry...the worst home was definitely Mr. Reynolds.” 

Eliza squeaked out the last name and Alex immediately knew that man was the one who abused her sexually. Alex squeezed her hand to tell her she had support from him.

”What did they do to you?” Angelica asked, basically repeated Pegs's question. “Well...I was physically abused...verbally abused...and well once I was sexually abused. It was only one home that did that though. The man’s in prison now though...” Angelica and Pegs didn’t hesitate to rush and tackle their sister in a huge hug. Eliza started crying as they showered her in kisses. “Y-You’re n-not mad at m-me?” Eliza choked out through tears. Angelica just hugged her tighter. “Why would we be mad at you, Eliza?” 

Eliza sniffled. “I-I kept this from you. I lied to you...” Pegs shook their head. “No, we understand. It was probably traumatizing. I’ve kept many panic attacks and dysphoria attacks from you two because I didn’t want you guys to think I was weak. I bet you felt the same.” Eliza slowly nodded. “Yeah, that’s-that’s actually ex-exactly how I feel...” She mumbled. “We love you Eliza. Don’t ever forget that.” Angie muttered into her hair before kissing her on the head. “Thank you for telling us...we don’t think any lesser of you. You were very brave to tell us this.” She assured Eliza before turning to Alex. “I guess I was wrong in the debate today...more children in foster care get abused than the children who get helped...at least here...” Alex shook his head. “No...Angie. Just because we’ve had horrible luck...doesn’t mean every child is abused. I’ve changed my views...I guess.” Alex went and joined the hug. 

Then there was a knock on the door. They heard Mrs. Schuyler’s voice. “Hey...when you’re done in there, dinner’s ready. Take your time.”

* * *

Alex changed his pink sweater to his spare shirt before going down for dinner. He would go home right after dinner. Before Alex could get out of the car, Eliza said to him, “Thanks for telling me to tell my siblings. I feel so much better.” Alex gave her a smile before saying, “You're welcome.”


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️: Short chapter

_~Rewind, Rewind, Rewind~_

* * *

After Thomas got home, he got his phone out and his thumb hovered over his girlfriend’s contact. Why was he this concerned about Hamilton? The boy obviously hated him. But if Thomas’s suspicions were correct, Hamilton wasn’t safe in this placement _and_ he was cutting. Thomas just took a deep breath and clicked on Angelica’s contact. The phone rang and it was picked up on the third ring.

Thomas heard Angelica’s beautiful voice say, “Hello? What’s up, Tom?” Thomas almost forgot why he called her. “Listen Angie...Um...It’s about Hamil-Alexander.” He said slowly, deciding to choose his words carefully. Angelica was quiet on her end for a few beats, making Thomas nervous. “What about Lexi? I swear if you just want dirt on him, I’m hanging up right now, because I love you but—“ Thomas quickly cut her off. “N-No! That’s not it at all. I think somethings wrong.” Angelica was quiet again before saying slowly, “What do you think is wrong?” Thomas bit his lip, knowing he would have to admit to teasing the boy to explain part of the problem.

Well, that first day when he was going home with you...Elizabe-Eliza grabbed his arm and he literally _hissed_ in pain, flinching. Then Eliza, who never curses, says something like, ‘Shit, I’m sorry! I forgot!’ That’s really concerning. But then that’s not all-“ Angelica didn’t even try to interrupt him as the words spilled from his mouth.

”Now, I know you told me to stop teasing him...but he came to school once with a limp, right?” Angelica made a confused sound before saying, “He did? He either hid it very well or I just didn’t notice...” Thomas prepared himself for the scolding he was about to get. “Well I walked up to him and made a stupid sex joke about his boyfriend going ‘too hard last night’ and-“ Thomas heard a snort over the phone. “Th-Thomas! That’s-That’s not funny.” Angelica said it like she was trying to convince herself. “Why’re you laughing if it’s not funny?” Thomas questioned. “You’re lucky I love you.” Angelica said, annoyed. “Back to the point.”

”Right. Well...Angie...Um-Alexander looked me straight in the eye before saying, ‘No, but my foster father was when he was beating the shit out of me.’ Angie. He said he’s been abused in other homes...he’s being abused in his new home. And I know we’re like ‘enemies’ but I’m really worried about him...” Angelica then spoke by saying, “Thanks for telling me babe. I’ll talk to my parents about it.” Thomas heard a bedroom door open on Angelica’s side before the girl said, “Oh, I’ll call you back, babe.” And then the call cut out.

Thomas set his phone down and sighed. It was probably weird for him, but he worried about the short gremlin. And he wasn’t sure why.


	35. Chapter 35

After Mrs. Schuyler got back from dropping off Alex, Angelica asked to talk to her. “It’s very important and it’s about Alex. Thomas called me earlier...” She said all this quickly. “Slow down, Angel. What’s wrong with Alex?” After taking a breath, Angelica said to her mother, “Mom, Thomas says that Alex told him that his foster father beats him.” Mrs. Schuyler just nodded. “I know.” Angelica’s face went red before she asked loudly, “You know?! Why aren’t we doing anything about it!?” Surprisingly, Mrs. Schuyler didn’t interrupt her daughter and waited until Angelica to finish before saying, “Mr. Washington is calling his agency to set up a place for he and his wife to spend time with Alex. They may take him in until we’re available to adopt him.”

Angelica’s face immediately changed. “Adopt him? We’re going to adopt him?!” Angelica started beaming as wide as she could, and she did a little spin as her mother chuckled. “We’ll try our best. There’s no guarantee. Alex has to trust the Washingtons first. So don’t tell your siblings, alright?” Mrs. Schuyler asked Angelica with a serious tone. She quickly nodded, still beaming with excitement. She hugged her mother and saying, “Thank you mom!”

* * *

Alex snuck upstairs and got to his phone without getting caught by his ‘parents’. He clicked on Aaron’s contact to see a new text from him. It read, ‘ _Hey, Alex. Where do you go to school?’_ Alex typed in, ‘ _King’s High...why?’_ He set his phone down and lay on his phone waiting for a response. Then he heard a chime and turned to grab his phone before reading the text.

He almost dropped his phone. The text read, ‘ _I’m starting school there tomorrow.’_

* * *

Alex put on the outfit he felt made him look like a schoolgirl, pulling up the mid-thigh stockings, plaid skirt, button-up, and blazer, before going to the bathroom. Alex pulled out the braids he put in his hair the night before and was very pleased to see the curls and waves. He pulled two pieces of hair from either side and secured them in the back with a matching bow that Angelica gave him. 

After straightening his skirt and cuffing the sleeves on his blazer, he dug out a lip gloss and applied it carefully. Satisfied with how he looked, he stepped into his tennis shoes and grabbed spare clothes before walking swiftly to the door with his bag, being careful not to be spotted by his ‘parents’. He slipped out before walking to school happily.

* * *

When he got to the school, he immediately started looking around for Aaron. Then he remembered that new kids usually went to the office. He skipped up to the front office and knocked on the door. Once a woman called for him to come in, he pulled the door open before stepping inside. “Do you need something, Mr. Hamilton?” The lady at the desk asked. Alex stepped closer before saying, “Um...has the new student, Aaron Burr, arrived yet?” 

The woman shook her head. “Nope. But his tour guide isn’t here. Couldn’t make it...could you fill in for him?” Alex eagerly nodded. “Of course, ma’am! Thank you. I’m actually an old friend of his.” The woman smiled at this. “That’s a good thing for you two.” The second door opened and a familiar boy walked in. It was Aaron Burr.

Alex ran over to him, engulfing him in a huge hug. Aaron stumbled backwards, not seeing Alex’s face. “Woah-uh, do I know you, miss?” Alex pulled away so Aaron could see him clearly. “It’s me, Aaron. Alexander? Your best friend? Who you texted last night that you would be here?” Aaron just rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry Alex. I didn’t see your face when you attacked me.” Alex pouted. “I didn’t attack you. I was hugging you. And also, don’t assume someone’s gender.”

”What do you mean?” Aaron asked. Alex crosses his arms and raised an eyebrow. “You called me ‘miss’. Next time just ask, ‘Do I know you?’ Instead of adding on the ‘miss’. It’s less offensive.” Aaron’s mouth made an ‘O’ shape and he nodded. “Yes sir.” Alex smiled before grabbing his hand. “Come on, I’ll show you around. You can even meet my friends and my boyfriend!” 

As Aaron followed Alex he asked, “You have a boyfriend?” Alex hummed and nodded. “Yup. We started dating recently. He’s a super sweet guy. His name is John. Oh, the siblings are over there with Theo. Let’s go say hi!” Alex dragged him over to introduce him to Theo. “Hey guys! Theo this is Aaron Burr. Aaron this Theodosia Bartow.” Theo scoffed and said, “I can introduce myself. Hi, call me Theo.” 

Aaron looked from the girl’s face to her outstretched hand. His face heat up as he gingerly took her hand and shook it quickly. “I-It’s nice to meet you, Theo.” Theo smiled, oblivious to his blushing face. “Nice to meet you too, Aaron. I’m guessing you already know the siblings, as Aaron only introduced you to me?” Aaron nodded. “Yeah. Hello again.” The three smiled and waved at him. 

“Anyways, you’ve got to meet my boyfriend! Come on!” Then Aaron let Alex drag him somewhere else. But Aaron’s mind wasn’t on where he was headed. Not even where he left. His mind was on _who_ he just left.


	36. Chapter 36

“This is the English classroom, The is Math, Library is Room 1804...Computer Lab is 1801...And then the Music Hall is in wing 9 third door down to the right. And that’s the end of the tour. Any questions?” Alex asked, finally finishing and turning to look at Aaron. Aaron shook his after a beat. “No. Thanks Alex. Hey, do you know if Theodosia’s single?” Alex smirked at him before saying in a teasing tone, “Ooh~Someone’s got a cruush~!” Aaron’s face went red. “I do not! I-I’m just curious about her life.” Alex giggled. “Yeah, sure...anyways, I wanted to ask you something.”

”Shoot.” Aaron answered. “Well, how do you feel about John? Do you think he’s a good fit for me?” Alex asked as the two started walking again. “Alex, that’s not for me to decide. It’s your call if he’s a good fit for you or not. But if you ask me, he’s a very nice guy. I can see why you love him so much. I can tell by the way he looks at you that he loves you too. Have you gone on a date yet?”

Alex shook his head before his face brightened. “Nah, we’re going out tonight on our first date.” Aaron smiled at Alex’s happy face. “This is nice...seeing you so happy.” He said thoughtfully. “It’s not all that great at all times...I’ve been having problems at home.” Aaron raised his eyebrow. “I asked you , and you said you were in a safe and loving home.” Alex shrugged before going to sit down on a short wall, patting the spot next to him. Once Aaron sat down, Alex started fixing his stockings. “I thought they were good people...”

Alex cleared his throat before asking, “Do you care that I dress like this?” The question surprised Aaron. “What on Earth do you mean, Alex?” Alex gestured to his skirt and blazer and then pointed at the bow in his hair. Then he pulled his feet up to the wall so he could hug his knees. “Do you care that I dress like a girl?” Aaron smiled softly and placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Not at all. In fact, I’m happy you’re dressing like this. It makes you happy, and I’m so glad that you’ve found something that makes you feel good.” After giving him a reassuring smile, Aaron took a good look at Alex again.

”Actually, you look really, really nice. This suits you better than ripped jeans and black hoodies.” Alex blushed and looked away at the compliment. He was embarrassed because he still wasn’t very used to being complimented so genuinely. “Thanks, Aaron. But-enough about me. What about your new family?”

At the mention of his family, Aaron’s eyes lit up and he beamed widely. “I have amazing parents and I even have a sister named Sarah! We’re really close already. Mom and Dad really care about me and they’ve never even yelled, let alone hit me. It’s really, really nice.” Alex went and hugged Aaron. “I’m so happy you found a good home. You really deserve it.”

Aaron pulled away to say, “So do you. You will find a good family. You deserve a loving and safe home too. You just haven’t found the perfect match.” Alex smiled at the reassurance before the smile faltered from his face. “I’m not reporting my abuse. Sure, a teacher and Mrs. Schuyler know...I think Mr. Washington is trying to get me into his home as a placement. I’m going to meet him and his wife in a few days to get to know them.” 

“Well that’s fantastic news, Alex!” Aaron exclaimed, extremely happy for his friend. “But I’m so scared. Have you seen how big Mr. Washington is? He could easily hospitalize me if I make him mad...” Alex trailed off. “Have you seen how nice and chill Washington is? I don’t think he’s the type of person to hit a child. Especially his own kid.” Alex shook his head. “That’s the point. I’m not his own kid. I’m going to be his foster kid. There’s a huge difference.” 

“That’s not true. What about the Schuylers? You said they’re like family to you. Does Mrs. Schuyler treat you different from the siblings?” After thinking for a bit, Alex shook his head. “No...” Aaron smiles. “See? It doesn’t matter if your not his biological child. You would still be his child if you were placed in his home.” Alex sighed. “I guess you’re right. But it’s okay to worry, right?” Aaron nodded. “It’s okay to worry. But don’t let that overcome your entire system. Try and stay calmer. Don’t rush into things. Just wait and evaluate the situation before you decide that Washington is dangerous. Promise?”

Alex nodded softly before saying, “Promise.” Aaron stood up before handing his hand to help Alex hop down from the short wall. “Okay then. Lunch, right? Also please don’t tell Theo...” Alex smirked before saying, “Of course not, Aaron. I see how much you like her. And once you get to know her, you’ll like her even more. I’m not ruining your chances by letting her know too early! Now let’s go eat. I’m hungry and I want to see my hot boyfriend.”

Aaron rolled his eyes and let Alex drag him to the cafeteria.


	37. Chapter 37

Alex walked into the classroom for debate after school. He was the first one there that day so he went up to Mr. Washington’s desk. When he stopped walking in front, the man looked up at Alex and smiled. He closed the file he was looking at before setting it aside and folding his hands on his desk. “What do you need, son?” Alex flinched at that. That’s what his ‘father’ called him whenever he was about to be punished. “I’m not your son...but sir? You said you wanted me to be placed in your home, right?” Alex asked.

“That’s correct.” Washington said, smiling and nodding. “Well,” Alex started, tugging at his stockings before pulling at the hem of his skirt. “Sir...are you transphobic or homophobic or crossdressing-phobic (A/N yes that’s a thing, I looked it up)?” Alex asked in a nervous tone. Washington had a confused look on his face before it vanished like he just realized what Alex was wearing. “No, no. No I’m not. Martha isn’t either. I’m not Adams. Martha and I want you to feel comfortable and happy. So if that means you want to dress like that, so be it. I know how you feel about Mr. Laurens. Your boyfriend? We’d never take that away from you. We’ll even take you shopping for more clothes if you want. Of course, if you get placed with us.”

Alex smiled. “Thank you sir. The thing is, my current home isn’t very fond of the idea of me being bisexual and a crossdresser.” A look of realization passed over his face before he said, “Don’t worry. Martha and I will let you be you. Is there anything you need?” “Um, I did invite Aaron Burr to the debate club so he’s coming today.”

Washington smiled. “Good job, we need new members.” Alex beamed due to the praise he received. It’s not something he got at home, so he always felt like every kind comment he got was precious. “Thank you sir.” Alex said before going to sit down at a desk. Then more people started walking in. Jefferson and Angelica walked in together, hands intertwined. Jefferson was talking seriously with Angelica occasionally glancing over at Alex. And Alex noticed. He started feeling uncomfortable but couldn’t tell them to stop without letting them know that he knows their talking about him. He heard a, “I’m just worried about him, Angie.” Before glancing over at Alex again.

Alex shifted awkwardly in his seat, waiting for Aaron to come. When he finally walked in, Alex waved him over to sit next to him. Aaron came and sat before Theo walked in. Aaron immediately started blushing. She sat right next to him, still oblivious to his _very_ obvious blush. “Hey Alex. And hey Aaron. Nice to see you here. You joining?” Aaron nodded quickly. “Y-Yeah I’m joining.” 

“That’s cool!” Theo exclaimed. “Yeah. I’m really excited.” Aaron answered, smiling and blushing. Alex was watching his flustered friend, trying hard not to burst out laughing. Theo wasn’t really paying close enough attention to notice Aaron was staring at her hair and face when Washington was making an opening ‘speech’ to open class. Aaron finally looked away from Theo when she shifted her head. 

* * *

_‘Aaron, you’re not being subtle at all!’_ Alex texted teasingly after school at his foster home. Of course, he had changed into his spare outfit in the bathroom before leaving. He decided not to go to the Schuylers today. He didn’t want his ‘parents’ to get suspicious of why he was there all the time. That was because Alex went there every day because it covered up debate club.

 _’Well, she hasn’t noticed yet, right?’_ Aaron texted back. Alex sighed before messaging, _‘She’s literally so oblivious to this type of thing. You have to be upfront and crystal clear or she won’t understand. 😂’_ Alex got a ‘ _Whatever. My moms calling me to come downstairs. Bye!’_ Alex texted a quick goodbye before putting his phone down and laying down in his bed. He quickly fell asleep.


	38. A/N FANART FOR ME?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can’t put an actual image there sadly.

https://ibb.co/6n98Sg5

@HolleyAnnLove on Quotev made me fan art for this book and I love it! It’s Alex in his schoolgirl outfit. It looks so good!!

~Alex be slaying~


	39. Chapter 39

After school, everything was as good as it could be. Sure, Alex got hit every day still, but that was completely normal...right? Alex always changed before going home, so his ‘father’ believed that he stopped dressing ‘like a girl’. John was still a caring and sweet boyfriend towards Alex, and Alex felt so loved whenever he was with him. Their first date was very exciting for Alex but he had to tell his ‘parents’ he was studying with the Schuylers to be able to make it.

They went out to eat before going to see a movie. John had driven Alex home, kissed him goodnight, and watched him walk inside. Once he stepped inside, Alex went straight up to his room to tell Aaron all about it. Aaron was really happy for Alex and he was still getting teased by his friend about liking Theo. Alex had gotten Johns number finally, so he typed it in and messaged him, ‘ _I had fun tonight! Thanks for taking me out_.’ 

John messaged back quickly saying, ‘ _Of course, Lexi. I had fun too! 🥰_ ’ Alex blushed and smiled at his fun as he went to lock his door before texting John back. 

He messaged back and forth with John until John had to fall asleep. When Alex said goodbye, he tapped on a journal app on his phone and started writing. He only ever wrote in Danish, Hebrew, French, and sometimes Spanish. **(A/N I looked it up and Hamilton historically knew all of these except Spanish)** He wrote in a different language because once a guardian found his old journal book and was mad about what was written in it. Alex decided to write his entry in Danish. **(A/N Translation at the end of this chapter.)**

” _Jeg kom lige tilbage fra min første date med min kæreste. Jeg føler mig så elsket, når jeg er sammen med ham, og det får mig til at føle mig så sikker. Selvom der er tidspunkter, hvor jeg savner Kadin. For et par dage siden hjalp jeg Madison med hans bindemiddel, ligesom jeg hjalp Kadin. Jeg fortalte Jefferson om mit misbrug._ ”

Alex decided to then switch to French.

“ _Il a juste glissé. M. Washington et sa femme vont me rencontrer un jour. Ils vont voir si je peux vivre avec eux. je suis honnêtement terrifié à cause de la force de l'homme. Mais je suppose qu'il vaut mieux savoir s'il est une bonne personne que de passer complètement à côté de l'offre. Il dit qu'il n'est pas homophobe ou travesti-phobique. Mais vous ne pouvez jamais en être sûr._

 _-Alexandre_ ”

Once he finished writing, Alex saved the document and read through the entry, making sure there weren’t any mistakes. After double-checking, he turned off his phone and put it in a drawer.

* * *

Alex woke up and looked over at his phone to see that he got a text from John. It read, ‘ _Good morning, beautiful!_ 😘’ Alex smiled at it before typing a reply and getting ready for school. He grabbed his overall dress and the yellow shirt that went under it. After pulling it on and securing it in the front, he put his hair into two pigtails, leaving two wisps on hair on either side of his head, framing his face. 

He pulled on socks and put on his shoes before looking in the mirror. Alex looked cute. Innocent, even. Alex smiled at himself before going to grab his bag, phone, and go downstairs to sneak a granola bar and go to school.

* * *

Alex passed Washington in the hall. The man gave him a smile. Alex tried to weakly return it. “Remember, I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, right?” Alex nodded quickly. Don’t speak unless prompted specifically. This question only needed a physical answer. No need for a verbal one. “Alright. Have a nice day, son.” Washington said as he walked away. Alex’s mouth felt dry as he tried swallowing and went to go find John.

* * *

Alex's diary entry translated:

**Danish:**

_“I just got back from my first date with my boyfriend. I feel so loved when I am with him and it makes me feel so safe. Although there are times when I miss Kadin. A few days ago, I helped Madison with his binder, just as I helped Kadin. I told Jefferson about my abuse.”_

**French:**

_‘It just slipped. Mr. Washington and his wife will meet me one day. They will see if I can live with them. I am honestly terrified of the strength of man. But I guess it is better to know if he is a good person than to miss the offer completely. He says he is not homophobic or crossdressing-phobic. But you can never be sure. -Alexander”  
_


	40. Chapter 40

**(A/N I forget what day this chapter is supposed to be on, but just pretend it’s Saturday so no one goes to school or church...)**

* * *

Alex woke up and remembered that he would be seeing the Washingtons that afternoon. He decided then that he would dress up as much as he could to see if they would shun him or treat him badly. Alex texted John to ask for Eliza’s number. He had always forgotten to get it. Once Alex got the number, he typed it into his phone before sending a message that said, “ _This is Alex. I got your number from John...can you ask Angelica if I can borrow one of her pink dresses? I’m going to meet with the Washingtons today._ ”

Alex was surprised to get a text back almost immediately. “ _Ofc Lexi! Want us to drive by your house?_ ” Alex thought for a bit before messaging, “ _Could I get ready at your house?_ ” All he got was a, “ _Ofc!_ 🥰” Alex quickly got out of bed and pulled on a gray sweater and some jeans. He hated them but he couldn’t let his ‘parents’ see him leaving the house in the clothes he liked wearing. He dragged a brush through his hair, stepped into his tennis shoes before going to grab his backpack. 

It was the weekend, but he needed his bag to put his makeup in. After emptying his backpack out, Alex put the makeup he bought at the mall and his heels in the bag then he slipped out of his bedroom, bag on his right shoulder to go and ask to ‘study’ with the Schuylers. Of course, his ‘father’ always said yes. “As long as they’ll take you to that dumbass meetup thing. Then you can go because my wife and I sure as hell won’t be taking you.”

Alex just sighed and went out of the house to wait for the Schuylers to pick him up.

* * *

As soon as he walked through the door of the house, Angelica whisked him up to her room where she helped him look through her sea of pink dresses to find one he liked. He decided on a bubblegum pink button up dress that ended right above his knees. After he got the dress buttoned up all the way, Pegs took over and helped him shave all the hair on his body that showed. 

Then Eliza helped with concealer and foundation before Angelica took over again to do his eye makeup. As Angelica did his eyes, Pegs was behind Alex curling his hair, occasionally telling him to stop moving. After his hair was curled and his eyes were glammed up, Pegs took a thin, see-through elastic and pulled a little less than half of his curled hair into a ponytail. Then they sprayed hairspray over it.

Eliza put on some red lipstick before all three of them started going around him, pulling the skirt of the dress straight, fixing a flyaway in his hair, adding more highlight, and plucking out stray hairs. After they announced that he looked perfect, they let him look at himself. “I love it! But there’s something missing...” Alex said slowly. Eliza got a worried look on her face. “I’m-Um..Should I have added the fake lashes or eyeliner?” Alex shook his head.

”No, no. I should probably change shoes....But I don’t think the heels would match this outfit.” Pegs brightened before rushing off to their room and coming back with black flats before placing them on the floor in front of Alex. “There ya go Alex. Try those.” The shoes had little black flowers sewn onto the tops. Alex stepped into them and said, “Yup. This is the look.” He struck a pose, one hand on his hip, the other in a snapping form in the air.

Pegs giggled and copied him. They said, “Work it girl!” As they snapped their fingers. Alex smiled and turned around looking behind him to look at the full outfit in the mirror. “I like it. I really love it.” 

“We’re glad you like it. But wait—Um...I have something that I got you as a present and I think it’s time I give it to you.” Eliza said. “You really shouldn’t have-“ Alex started before she put her finger over his lips. “Nuh-uh. No saying no. You’re taking it. Let me get it.” Eliza skipped to her room and came back with a simple black purse. But looking closer, he saw pins decorating it. They said things like,

* * *

**_~~Masculinity~~ _ ** ~~~~

_**Bi Pride!** _

_**“All men are created equal” ~ President Diggs** _

_**QUEEN <3** _

* * *

“Thank you so much, Eliza! This is really thoughtful! I love it!” Eliza smiles at Alex’s words before flipping the purse around. “That’s not all. Look at that right there.” She pointed at small words etched into the purse. It read something that made Alex burst into tears.

* * *

_Alexander Hamilton-Schuyler, the best brother in the world._


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️: Purposeful misgendering

When Alex started crying, Eliza’s smile dropped from her face. She rushed towards him. “I’m sorry! Was it too much too fast or-“ Alex hugged her tightly, purse clutched in his hand. “I love it Eliza.” He choked out before deciding to say, “No-not just Eliza...I love it sis.” Shocked, Eliza hugged Alex back. “You’re welcome.” Angelica spoke up. “I know this is supposed to be sentimental, but you may ruin your makeup and you have somewhere to be in...30 minutes. Let me fix you up.” After squeezing Eliza one more time, Alex pulled away and wiped his eyes before going over to Angelica. She gently wiped his eyes before starting over on his eye makeup.

After she finished, Angelica inspected his face one more time before checking her phone. “Okay, 15 minutes for you to go. Let’s go eat something before we leave.” Alex followed his siblings out of the room to get food.

* * *

Mrs. Schuyler drove all of them to the cafe, mostly so that the siblings could wish their honorary **(as I was writing the “hono” part I accidentally wrote “homo” at first and was like “Well it’s true either way lmao)** brother good luck. Pegs declared that they wanted to walk Alex there, so they hopped out of the car with him. 

Angelica and Eliza decided to come with them, and so the 4 kids sat at a table waiting for the Washingtons to arrive. Then two boys walked by their table and started making crude comments about Pegs. They catcalled her on their way. “Damn girl, can I get your number and that ass?” One said winking. Angelica looked livid and Eliza’s face started to turn red as Pegs said, “I’m not a girl. Or a boy for that matter.”

The catcaller’s companion snorted before saying, “That’s not even fucking possible. You must be messed up in the mind. Such a shame. You have a pretty face. Great body too. So-when you get better you can call me.” The boy winked and Pegs looked disgusted.

Angelica started to stand up but Alex beat her to it. “What did you just say about them? Who even are you?” Pegs shifted uncomfortably in their seat. “Their boys from school. Charles Lee and George Fredrick. Their other friend is Samuel Seabury. They do this every day. They’re not worth it Alex.” Alex stepped closer to the boys. “It is worth it when their picking on my siblings.”

“Oh, can the pretty girly not fight herself?” Lee sneered. That sentence sent Alex’s fist flying straight into his nose. Pegs had a look of horror on their face when they all heard a sickening crack. Lee’s hands flew to his broken nose. “Your sick.” He spat. “All of you are sick!” He ran off clutching his nose before his friend followed after. 

“Alex!! That wasn’t a good idea!” Pegs said, frightened as she saw the dark red blood on Alex’s hand. “I couldn’t just sit there and listen to them say such disgusting things about my little sibling! If you guys want to call me your brother, by God, I will act like your brother. If I’m going to be part of your family, I want to protect you guys.” Angelica on the other hand was smiling.

”That was amazing Alex! I never actually attacked them because Pegs told me not to...but-I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.” Alex smiles before getting napkins to wipe off his hand. “Oh, is that Mr. Washington and his wife?” Eliza asked, craning her neck to look around Alex. He turned around to see his teacher with a very pretty and kind-faced woman. They were talking and walking towards the table.

Alex turned to his siblings and asked, “Is my hair and makeup okay? My dress look straight?” Eliza stood and walked up to him before holding his chin and pulled out her lipstick before quickly applying another layer to Alex’s lips. “It was fading a little. You’ll want them to know how much of a hot bitch you are.” Shocked but Eliza cursing, Alex nervously laughed. “If I was going for hot bitch I would’ve done a short skirt and crop top with a leather jacket, but okay.” Eliza smile and kissed him on the forehead. 

“You look great. They’re coming. Text me when you need to get picked up, okay?” When Alex nodded, she gave him one more hug before saying, “Have fun. And...thanks for punching that dick. He and George Fredrick have been tormenting Pegs for like 2 years. We’ll see you later, okay Lexi?” Alex nodded and smiled. “It was my pleasure to punch him. And thank you. I love you Eliza.” 

“I love you too Alex. Remember to text me. They’re here.” Eliza stepped back and waved as she walked back to the car. Alex turned around to see that in fact, Washington and his wife were right there.


	42. Chapter 42

Alex smiled at the couple before waiting to be addressed. “Hello Alexander. This is my wife, Martha.” Mr. Washington said kindly, with a smile on his face. “Nice to meet you ma’am.” Alex said politely, putting his hand out for her to shake. “Why aren’t you a gentleman?” Martha said, laughter in her eyes. “I mean...the ladies—and men—have always called me charming.” Alex joked with the woman. Martha just chuckled. “I can see why.” She said. “So, George tells me you have a boyfriend. What’s he like?” Alex blushed. He never talked to adults about John besides Mrs. Schuyler. 

The three sat down at the table the siblings had been sitting at before Alex answered, “He’s really sweet to me. He’s smart and funny and kind and he’s really cute too, so that’s a plus.” Alex looked up, blushing and realized he started ranting. “Sorry. Once I start talking about something I can’t seem to stop.” Martha just smiled. “Don’t contain yourself like that. Talk as much as you want and don’t worry about ranting. It’s nice to watch a young man talking about something or someone he loves. Not a lot of kids have things their passionate about.”

Alex smiled and mumbled thanks before pulling his purse into his lap and hugged it to his stomach. “What’s that?” Martha asked, inquiring about the bag. “I-Oh, this? Eliza gave it to me before I came here.” Alex hugged it closer to himself, like it would be taken from him. “That’s nice. You are very close to the Schuylers, aren’t you?” Alex shyly nodded before finally holding out the bag so Martha can take it and look at it. Her eyes scanned all the pins and she smiled at how confident Alex was before she flipped the purse around.

“This is so sweet. I can tell you guys love each other so much.” Martha says as she looks at the small engraving of Alex’s edited name. “Yeah. Angelica, Eliza, and Pegs are the best siblings ever.” Martha handed the bag back to Alex before saying, “They seem like wonderful young ladies.” Alex cringed before immediately correcting, “People.” Martha raised an eyebrow. “Oh, Pegs’s pronouns are they and them.” Martha’s eyes widened in understanding. “Ah, yes. I believe George told me about them. Sorry dear.” Alex gave her a small smile before saying, “Don’t worry. You didn’t mean to offend.”

Martha almost sighed. She didn’t want to offend anyone. “Well, that’s good to know.” Alex nodded. “Anyways, son, would you like anything to eat?” George asked nicely, standing up to go inside the cafe. Alex flinched at ‘son’ before saying simply, “Can I just get a coffee?” It was something he rarely got but he really loved it. George smiled before turning to his wife. “The usual, thank you.” Then the man walked inside, leaving Martha and Alex alone at the table. “Who did your makeup? Your foster mother?” Alex flinched again at the mention of _that_ woman. “The Schuylers.”

“Ah, they did a wonderful job. You look stunning, Alexander.” Alex smiled. “Thank you ma’am.” Martha chuckled before shaking her head lightly. “Please, call me Martha.” Alex hesitated before saying, “Alright, ma’a-Martha.” Martha smiles at him. “So you’re going to be adopted by the Schuylers?” Alex shrugged. “That’s what I’m hoping for at least.” Martha nodded. “They seem like wonderful people. The girl in the blue, I saw her and I could tell she cares about you so much.” Alex nodded. “Yeah, ‘Liza’s the sweetest. She was the first of the siblings to get to know me. She’s amazing.”

”Did you know that your eyes light up whenever you talk about something you love?” Martha asked, watching him. “Really?” Martha nodded. “Mhm. You seem like a very caring and loving young man.” Alex mumbled another thank you before Washington came out with three drinks. He set one down in front of Martha and one in front of Alex. “There you go.” Alex accepted the drink before saying, “Thank you sir.” In a respectful tone. “You’re welcome.” George said before sitting down. “Let’s get to know you. What’s some interesting facts about yourself, Alex?” Alex thought a bit before answering.

”Well, I can speak five languages...” Martha and George’s jaws dropped. “Which ones?” George asked. “I’m fluent in French, Spanish, and of course English. I can also speak Danish and I know Hebrew.” Martha looked surprised. “Wow, that’s impressive for someone your age! How’d you accomplish that?” Alex shrugged. “I grew up in the Caribbean. In Nevis. A lot of languages were spoken and I was put in charge of a trading barter at a young age. I kind of had to learn all those languages to do my job.” Martha and George looked impressed. “That’s very fascinating! Anything else?”

Alex shrugged. “I mean...you know I’m bisexual and that I crossdress...um-I really like writing.” George looked interested in that detail. “Oh, really? What do you write about?” Alex chose his words carefully. “I write about my day and my feelings. Sometimes I write poems or unsent letters.” Martha’s brow went up. “Unsent letters?” Alex nodded. “Mhm. Like I write letters that aren’t meant to be sent to people. Like I write letters to my mother even though she passed when I was 12.” Martha’s face turned into one that Alex hated more than anything. It was pity.

Alex didn’t like telling people about his mother’s death because of this reason. People always felt bad for him, and Alex hated the pitied looks people gave him. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Martha said. Alex bit his lip. “It’s okay, I don’t need pity. I don’t like it when people say sorry. It’s not their fault she’s gone. So why say sorry?” Alex always thought it was stupid to say sorry when someone said that a loved one died. “Oh, okay then. What’s your favorite subject at school?” Alex thought for a bit before answering, “I like History.”

”Is that so?” George asked. “Yup. It’s really interesting to learn new things. Did you know that Lin-Manuel Miranda, our first Treasury Secretary had the first public sex scandal on our country’s history? He also published a pamphlet about it. His poor wife, honestly. He was from the Caribbean too! Isn’t that so cool? He liked writing and stuff! Shi-oot. I’m ranting again, aren’t I?” George and Martha just smiled and Martha sighed. “Like I said, don’t worry about it Alex. I love watching how passionate you are about things. Please do keep talking. It’s very entertaining Alex!”

So talk more Alex did. “The woman he had an affair with was named Jasmine Cephas-Jones. It was such a shame though because her husband threatened to kill her and her daughter to make her have an affair with Miranda so he could blackmail him into giving them money. It’s seriously super sick...Horrible. Their daughter was only 6 or something and her name was Susan. Don’t you agree that abusing a child is horrible?” Alex inquired the adults quickly. The two made eye contact and George gave her a look before she said quickly, “Of course it’s wrong!” 

“Exactly! You shouldn’t ever threaten to kill a child let alone abuse them! No matter what they do a parent should never lay a harming hand on their child. Or even if the kid isn’t theirs, don’t ever hit a child. It’s just wrong!” Martha and George nodded as Alex kept going, riling himself up. “I mean, kids like me, gays, bisexuals, lesbians, pansexuals, transgenders, crossdressers and more are abused every day by their parents just because of their gender or sexual orientation. Or the way they dress. If your son wanted to wear a skirt, would you let him?”

”Of course! If that’s what makes him happy, let him do what he wants.” Martha said in answer. Alex beamed. “Exactly! You remind me of Mrs. Schuyler. She’s more of a mother to me than my current foster mother is.” Martha looked genuinely curious. “Is that so?” Alex nods. “Yeah, she and her husband aren’t too keen on the idea of me being bisexual and me dressing as they call it, ‘like a girl’. I don’t understand! They accused me of being transgender, which is kind of stupid because there is a huge difference between crossdressing and being transgender, right?”

Martha and George nodded. “Right.” Alex smiled before taking a sip of his coffee. “Thanks for the drink by the way, sir. I appreciate it.” George just smiles at the boy. “It was my pleasure, son. When do you have to go back to your house?” Alex pulled his phone from his purse and checked it. “I have to be back in about an hour.” George and Martha made eye contact and smiled at one another before looking at Alex. “Want to go shopping? Before you say anything, Catherine informed us that you only have a few outfits you like.”

”Well, if you really want to take me, sure. Let’s go!” Alex said cheerfully.


	43. Chapter 43

Alex wandered around the mall, with the Washingtons following him. He felt awkward going into stores. He got used to it with the siblings but the Washingtons were different. It was his teacher and his teacher’s wife. Alex finally decided to walk into a clothing store. He skipped through the aisles, occasionally stopping to look at a blouse, dress, or skirt. Sometimes Alex would look through accessories or the shirts. Surprisingly, Alex didn’t feel judged by the Washingtons at all while he was looking through clothes.

He did feel weird about having them spend money on him however. Alex came across a [dress](https://ooklyy.com/collections/dresses-casual/products/casual-dresses-2020-wedding-dresses-dressy-dresses-lbd-dress) that he immediately fell in love with. It was a pretty maroon color with thin straps. It had ruffles all along the top. He pulled it out of the row before placing it gently in a cart that Martha was pushing. Alex could tell the adults were happy that he was happy, but he didn’t want them to be spending money on him. He tried to ignore it as he chose some other outfits.

Alex saw a yellow suspender skirt and added it to the cart. That’s when he saw the shoes section. He saw [Mary Janes](https://www.ebay.com/i/133057835812?chn=ps&var=432359433908). The type of shoes girls wear with their school outfits. It would match perfectly with his blazer and matching skirt. He never thought the heels looked ‘perfect’ with the outfit, so he grabbed the shoes in his size and placed them in the cart.

Then he scanned the store over again before his eyes landed on a familiar looking boy over by the candies. It was John. Excited, Alex ran over and hugged him from behind. Surprised, John quickly hid something behind his back. “What’s that?” Alex asked, trying to see. “It’s nothing!” Martha and George came up to the boys. “Is this John?” Martha asked. “Mhm~!” Alex said proudly before hugging John again. “I can see why you like him.” Martha said in a teasing tone. Alex just rolled his eyes while John went red. “Did your almost foster mother just call me attractive?” Alex laughed at his boyfriend before nodding.

”Well, I’ve got to go now Alex. My sister’s waiting for me. Bye, love you!” John presses a kiss to Alex’s forehead before rushing off to the cashier with the mystery package. “He seems like a very sweet boy.” Martha said. 

“He is. I wonder what he was hiding though.” Alex wondered. Martha’s eyes sparkled with amusement and a hint of knowing. “It’s probably something for his sister-y’know...” She hinted, even though she knew full well what it actually was.

“Okay then!”

Alex skipped around the store happily as he grabbed various things, promising to put some back.

* * *

That never happened. The Washingtons insisted on getting Alex everything he picked out. Alex was beyond grateful. He thanked them over and over again. “There’s nothing to it honey. We want you to feel safe and comfortable with us if you are placed in our home.” Martha said kindly to him.

”Thank you Martha.” Alex said, very grateful. “You don’t know how much this means to me.” 

* * *

When it was time for their meeting time to be over, Martha and George drove Alex to the Schuylers where ~~the~~ his siblings made him put on a fashion show with all the outfits he got. The three cheered and clapped for every single one. “You have such good taste!” Angelica commented at the end.

Alex smiles. “I learned from the best.” His siblings all smile at him. “Of course you did. I am pretty amazing.” Pegs said jokingly. “Yes-Yes you are pretty amazing.” Alex agreed. Right now he was wearing a long sleeved white and grey striped shirt with a high waisted pink skirt that had a bow in the middle of the waistband.

They were all just laying on the floor talking. And it was nice. Alex felt good. Alex loved his siblings. And nothing could bring them down. 

* * *

_Except for the call Angelica received that moment._


	44. Chapter 44

”Hello?” Angelica said as her siblings watched her put the phone to her ear. They couldn’t hear what the person on the other side but they could only hear Angelica’s responses. “Yes, this is Angelica Schuyler.” Angelica looked confused before she said, “Yes, I’m his girlfriend...” Eliza, Pegs, and Alex watched her in concern. Angelica let out a gasp and the hand not holding the phone flew to her mouth.

”Oh my god....What hospital? Is he okay?! Will he be okay?! What happened?! I’ll be there soon!” Angelica got the rest of the information before standing up quickly and pulling on a jacket and hanging up the phone. “What’s wrong, Angie?” Eliza asked.

”Thomas is in the hospital.” Angelica said simply. “I have to go now. Are you coming or not?” Eliza and Alex nodded and immediately stood up. “I don’t really like hospitals...” Pegs said quietly, deciding they wouldn’t go.

Angelica rushed out the car yelling to their mother she would text her. Alex and Eliza jumper into the car and Angelica quickly turned the key in the ignition before slamming into reverse. She was speeding all the way to the hospital, taking sharp turns, and almost crashing into multiple cars and buildings.

* * *

Angelica was breathless when she ran into the hospital, Eliza and Alex on her heels. She ran to the front desk. “I’m here for Thomas Jefferson. What room? Please, I’m his girlfriend.” The lady at the desk looked at the computer and scrolled through some things. “I’m sorry ma’am but the patient is in critical condition. He can’t have any visitors at the moment. I’m sorry.”

Tears started running down Angelica’s face. “C-Critical condition? Is he going to be okay?” The lady sighed. “I can’t tell you that. You can take a seat, and I can tell you when he can have visitors.” Angelica nodded and sat down, defeated.

Angelica pulled out her phone and texted her mom to explain the situation. “Where are Thomas’s parents?” Alex asked before adding, “Shouldn't they be here?” 

Angelica shook her head. “No, they work all the time. That’s why I’m his emergency contact.” Alex wrinkles his nose. “They wouldn’t take work of to see their son in the hospital?” Angelica shook her head sadly, tears still running down her cheeks. Her brother and sister were sitting on either side of her, hugging her and trying to console her.

”I don’t understand...They-They said he was in a car accident and they don’t know who the other driver was. Apparently there were two people in the car. They died. But Thomas might die too...he might be annoying or a prick but I for some reason love him.” Angelica said. “I’ve never really like Thomas...but I know he’s a strong man. He’ll get better. Believe in him, sis.” Alex told her before she sniffled and wiped her eyes and nose with her sleeves.

“You’re right Alex.” Angelica said. “Thank you...”

* * *

The doctor came out with a clipboard and went up to the siblings. “Are you here for Mr. Thomas Jefferson?” Angelica stood and wiped her eyes again. “Yes, yes we are. Can I see him?” The doctor nodded. “Follow me, miss.” Eliza and Alex stayed behind to let the couple have their own moment.

* * *

Angelica rushes into the room and immediately goes to her boyfriend’s side. “A-Angie?” Thomas asks cautiously, reaching for her hand. Angelica grabs it. “Yes, yes it me!” Thomas smiles at his girlfriend. 

“I love you Angie.” Angelica smiled. “I know. I love you too. What happened?” She asked, trying to not look at the bandage wrapped around Thomas’s head and all the stitches and bandages over his body. “I dunno...I was crossing an intersection and then I was thrown and then I woke up in the ambulance and-“ Thomas started coughing violently. Worried, Angelica reached for some tissues and handed them to him. Then it sounded like he was coughing something up. When he took the tissue from his mouth it was drenched in blood.

”That’s not good...” He said slowly, looking up at Angelica. “Doctor!” Angelica called. The doctor came and looked at the bloody tissue. “Ma’am, may I speak with you outside?” Angelica nodded and squeezed Thomas’s hand in reassurance before stepping out into the hallway.

”Ma’am, we took some tests and we found that your boyfriend has severe head trauma and severe organ injuries.” The doctor explained this while flipping through his clipboard. He looked up to see Angelica’s tearful face. “Is he going to be okay? He’s going to recover, right?”

”That’s not all, ma’am. In the car accident...he got massive injury to the brain in addition to the head trauma...It’s a miracle he’s survived this long. I’m sorry ma’am.”

Angelica covered her mouth with her hand and started shaking and sobbing. “N-No! He can’t die-No!” Alex and Eliza heard her crying and came to find her sobbing next to the doctor. “What’s wrong? Is something wrong with Thomas?” Eliza asked, going to hug Angelica.

”They don’t think he’s going to make it...”

* * *

After Thomas died, Angelica wasn’t the same. She never would be the same. Sure, she was kind and protective of her siblings, but she didn’t have her spark or passion anymore. Alex moves in with the Washingtons. It ended up that his foster parents were in the other car. No matter what the siblings did for their sister, Angelica locked herself in her room and scrolled through old texts.

* * *

At the funeral, Angelica stood there emotionless besides the single tear that escaped. Thomas’s parents were standing with their other children, stiff and cold as they watched their son’s body being lowered into the ground and buried.

Alex stood near Angelica in a black dress. He never was friends with Thomas, but he could tell that deep down he was a nice kid. He cared about Angelica and James a lot. And he loved his siblings. He had a future.

James was a wreck. He was blowing into a tissue, hyperventilating, and he wasn’t ashamed to have tears streaming down his face at a rapid pace. Soon his eyes were red and puffy and he didn’t make an effort to wipe his face. 

Catherine and Philip Schuyler stood with Angelica, Eliza, and Pegs to try and comfort Angelica and to keep the other too composed.

Even though Thomas was a jerk, he did care a lot.

Alex didn’t know this, but Thomas was on his way to Alex’s foster home to try and get the boy to live with him until he could get moved.

Yes, Thomas really was a caring boy.


	45. Chapter 45

Angelica didn’t go to school for days. And when she did, she didn’t wear her pink dresses or do her makeup. Angelica’s hair was a mess, her face was makeup-free, and she wore a black sweater and sweatpants. Angelica’s state was really worrying Alex. She was the strongest person he knew and she was broken. It scared him. But what scared him the most is how she was acting.

Crying in the middle of classes, skipping meals, long sleeves even when it’s 97 degrees out. And the reason this scared Alex was because this is how he acted when his mother passed away. And Alex didn’t want his sister to be hurt like that. He tried to help her as best as he could with help from Eliza and Pegs but nothing helped.

* * *

Angelica was going through hell but it was worse for the people around her. They had to watch her go through it and that was frightening to watch a girl who would stand up for her siblings and what she believed in turn into the girl sitting in the back of the class and not talking at all. 

The girl was also getting thinner. Much, much thinner. She hadn’t been eating a whole lot and she went on walks on the days she didn’t lock herself in her room. After a week of going back to school, one day Angelica came to school in a pink long-sleeved top and white skirt. But she was still quiet and ate very little.

But it was progress. But the progress stopped there. Her spark didn’t come back. Angelica’s eyes were always empty and and she looked like she felt numb inside. She didn’t cry anymore, but she didn’t smile much anymore either. It was so rare for someone to get Angelica to crack a small smile nowadays.

Sure, everyone thought her boyfriend was a jerk, but she knew him as a soft and kind boy who would find a way to give her the moon if she asked for it. 

No matter how many smiles she gave, Alex was still worried. Not just because of the numbness, or the emptiness, or how Angelica skipped meals, it was because of the long sleeves.

* * *

Yes, Alex believed that Angelica Schuyler was cutting in her grief. And he was scared for his big sister.


	46. Chapter 46

**(A/N while writing this chapter I was listening to All You Wanna Do and Don’t Lose Your Head from Six if you’re interested in knowing what other musicals I like-)**

* * *

Alex woke up in the Washington household a week after he started noticing Angelica’s self-harming habits. He bit his lip and side before deciding he would confront Angelica today. The longer it went on, the more addictive it got. He learned that from his own experience. Alex pulled on a frilly white blouse before pulling on a light blue suspenders skirt. He put on white stockings and then put on his Mary Janes. 

Alex tugged a brush through his hair before pulling his hair into ponytails, leaving hair to frame his face. After he was done he went light on the makeup. Just a little lip gloss, highlight, and eyeliner.

* * *

Alex walked down the stairs, hearing the clicks of his shoes each step. He finally made it and went to sit at the dining room table, legs swinging. Martha was in the kitchen making breakfast. It was a strange but not unwelcome new addition to Alex’s schedule to get breakfast every morning.

Martha places a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him, saying, There you go, dear. You look cute today.” Alex smiles.

”Thank you, Martha.” He says before starting to eat. George walks down the stairs dressed for work. He kisses Martha before getting handed his own food. He say by Alex and said boy visibly stiffened. Alex still wasn’t used to the fact that the large man in charge of the house wouldn’t hurt him.

”Are you ready for school, son?” George said as he ate. Alex cringed before nodding. “Yes sir. Let me just grab my bag.” He finished his food before rushing upstairs and grabbing his new school bag. It was an expensive [leather messenger bag with his name engraved in the corner](https://www.briefcase.com/edmond-leather-vintage-messenger-bag-large-7264/). He shoved notebooks spread on his desk into it and put it over his head before resting it on his shoulder.

He clicked down the stairs and went to the door to wait obediently for George to be finished and ready to leave. When he was, Alex slipped out the door to get into the car. 

* * *

Once he got to school, Alex quickly found his siblings all standing together in the shade of a tree. He made eye contact with Angelica before Eliza said, “Hey Alex! You look cute today!” Alex blushed and smiled. 

“Thanks Eliza. Hey, is it alright if I borrow Angie? I need to talk to her.” Angelica looked scared for a second before it looked like she pushed it down. “Sure thing Alex. Be right back guys.” 

Alex gently took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before leading her to the bleachers out in the field and sitting down. He pat the spot next to him, motioning for Angelica to sit down. “What is it Alexander?” She asked innocently, fidgeting with her sleeves.

Alex stared at her hands before he said cautiously, “After he died...” Alex didn’t need to say his name, they both knew who he was talking about. Angelica stiffened. “Did you hurt yourself? Do you hurt yourself?” Angelica’s breath hitched and she couldn’t meet Alex’s eyes as she kept fidgeting.

Alex put his hand over one of her own. “I know how you’re feeling...I used to cut too. After my mom passed.” Angelica’s demeanor changed completely at that news. “Oh-I’m so sorry-“ Alex put his hand up. “I don’t want any pity. You couldn’t have done anything, do you shouldn’t be saying sorry...” Angelica closed her mouth quickly. “Oh okay.” 

Alex sighed. “But you didn’t answer me. _Do_ you cut?” He noticed how Angelica’s eyes filled with tears. “Y-Yeah...” Alex leaned towards her and hugged her tightly. She was surprised at first before hugging him back, crying into his blouse.

”I can help you...” Alex said softly. Angelica sniffled and looked up with her eyes red and puffy. “Y-You can?” Alex smiled and wiped tears off her face. “Only if you let me. Do you want me to help?” Angelica nodded.

“Yes please.”

Alex smiled. “That’s the first step. Coming to terms that you need help. Now let’s talk about why you feel the need to cut...if your comfortable with that.”

Angelica nodded before saying, “Well...after Thomas died I just couldn’t comfort in anything and I felt like it helped me stay grounded in reality...” Alex nodded. “Alright. Now, I’m not a professional but what’s helped me is to call or text a friend whenever I feel like cutting. Then you can be distracted from it until the feeling passes. So next time you feel like cutting...do you think you could call or text me?”

Angelica nodded. “You also need to tell your parents about this so they can help you.” Angelica flinched at that suggestion. “I don’t want them to be disappointed in me.” Alex squeezes her hand gently.

“I’ve met your parents. They’re very supportive, and they’ll understand. Listen, if you tell them then you can get therapy. That way you can get help.” Angelica curled into herself. “I don’t want to be that girl that goes to therapy...” Alex gave her a reassuring smile.

”Almost everyone goes to therapy at some point in their life. You need it Angie. You’ve been through some really hard things...” Angelica sniffed. “I guess you’re right, Alex. But can you help me tell my parents?” She asked with a hopeful look in her eyes. Alex couldn’t say no. “Of course, Angie. Do you want to tell Eliza and Pegs?” She shook her head.

”No not yet...maybe after I tell mom and dad.” Alex smiles at her. “Alright then. That’s all to wanted to talk to you about. If you ever need someone to listen, I’m one call or text or yell across the campus away. I’m always open to talk, promise.” 

Angelica hugged Alex again. “Thank you Alexander.” Alex smiled. “Anything for you sis.” Angelica pulled away and kissed Alex on the nose. “By the way, I love that outfit!”

Alex beamed. Angelica was slowly coming back.


	47. Chapter 47

Alex got permission to go over to the Schuyler house after school that day. Angelica really needed his support to tell her parents. As soon as they got home, Eliza was about to take Alex up to her room when Angelica stopped her. “You go up with Pegs. Alex and I need to talk to mom.”

Eliza raised a brow before taking her younger sibling upstairs. Angelica turned around when she heard a small cough from Pegs but didn’t say anything when they gave her a smile. Peggy rushed upstairs ahead of Eliza, covering their hand from sight. Angelica pushed it from her mind before turning to her mom. “Mom, can we talk? It’s important and I need to tell you something...” 

Mrs. Schuyler put down her keys and turned around. “Sure thing. What’s up, Angel?” Angelica went and sat on the couch. Alex followed her. “You should probably take a seat, Mrs. Schuyler.” Alex said.

Worried, Mrs. Schuyler say across from the two teens. She started looking between them suspiciously. “Is there something going on between you two that I need to know about?” Angelica quickly shook her head blushing. “No! He’s here for-moral support, I guess...” Mrs. Schuyler’s features relaxed at that. “Thank God.” She breathed. “Then what is it?”

Alex noticed how Angelica fidgeted with her sleeves before she blurted out, “I cut myself.” Mrs. Schuyler’s eyes widened and she let out a gasp. “Oh my god...May I see them?” She asked. Angelica hugged herself before walking slowly towards her mom. She pulled up her sleeves and Alex could see red lines etched into her skin. Some were bigger or deeper than others. But they were everywhere.

“Why’d you do this?” Mrs. Schuyler asked, gingerly holding Angelica’s arms in her hands, inspecting them. “It helped me feel grounded in reality after Thomas died. It made me feel something when I was numb.” 

Mrs. Schuyler dropped Angelica’s arms and held the girl instead. Angelica started crying on her mother’s shoulder. “I miss him.” Mrs. Schuyler had tears running down her face as she ran her fingers trough her daughter’s hair. “I know you do. I’m glad you told me.”

”I wasn’t going to...” Angelica said quietly. “Really? Then why did you?” Mrs. Schuyler asked in the same tone. “Alex told me to. He encouraged me. That’s why he’s here...” 

Alex shifted uncomfortably and started playing with the hem of his skirt. Then Mrs. Schuyler pulled away from Angelica and kissed her on the head before opening her arms towards Alex. He hesitates at first before running to her and accepting the motherly love. “Thank you Alexander. Guess what? We’re signing adoption papers soon, isn’t that exciting?” Angelica stopped crying. “R-Really?! That’s really great news!” Angelica went and stole Alex from her mom, hugging him tightly.

”I’m so happy! You’re going to be my official brother! You’re going to be a Schuyler!” Alex smiled. “I’m going to be a Schuyler!” Angelica squeezed him until he was squealing and giggling. “I love you too, Angie.” Soon she let him go and they both said their thanks to their mom before going upstairs to join their other siblings in Eliza’s room.

Only Eliza was in there. “Hey, where’s Pegs?” Alex asked as he sat next to Eliza. “Oh they went to the bathroom coughing. Said they were going to go find cough medicine.” Alex and Angelica nodded before sitting back and relaxing.

* * *

Soon Pegs came back into the room and the siblings joked around until Alex had to go back to the bathroom. As he was passing the trash can he noticed a used pad. Now that wasn’t unusual, as there were 4 people in the Schuyler home who could’ve been on their period but it was the blood that was strange.

Alex saw what period blood looked like and what was on that pad didn’t look like period blood. Of course he didn’t take it out but he was freaked out. Obviously someone was trying to cover something up. The only person who had been in there had been...

” _PEGS!”_ Alex heard someone shout from Eliza’s room.


	48. Chapter 48

_Lung cancer. Peggy Schuyler had lung cancer._

* * *

Pegs had collapsed and Eliza had screamed. Alex rushes to the room to see Peggy’s mouth filled with blood and they were passed out on the floor. Mrs. Schuyler came running up the stairs and crashed open the door before seeing her child on the floor.

”Eliza, call an ambulance!” She yelled, running to kneel and put her child’s head in her lap. Mrs. Schuyler moves Peggy’s hair out of their face before trying to wipe the blood away with her sleeve.

* * *

The ambulance came and Mrs. Schuyler rode in the ambulance with Pegs and the medical professionals. Angelica drove quickly behind them with Alex and Eliza in the backseat silently urging her to go faster. Everyone had tears in their eyes, but Angie was full on sobbing. She just lost her boyfriend. She couldn’t lose her little sibling too.

Angelica watched as the stretcher with her sibling’s small body was rolled into the hospital quickly and efficiently. Mrs. Schuyler was crying. They wouldn’t let anyone into Pegs's room.

The doctors came out with clipboards a few hours later. “We’ve run multiple tests on your daughter-“ Mrs. Schuyler glared. “Child.” The doctor cleared his throat before beginning again. “We've run multiple tests on your _child_ and found that sh-sorry, they have stage two lung cancer. There’s a 19% survival rate.”

That was huge news for them to handle. The doctor told Mrs. Schuyler that Pegs was awake and that they could have visitors.

* * *

”A-Am I going to die?” Pegs asked, tears shining in her eyes. “W-We don’t know yet sweetie.” Mrs. Schuyler said, holding their hand. Soon Mr. Schuyler walked into the room before seeing Pegs laying in a hospital bed with bloody tissues covering the side table.

”What happened? What’s wrong?” He asked quickly, sitting next to his wife. “I have lung cancer and I’m going to die!” Pegs whined, crossing their arms like a child. Tears started to run down their face and they started to sob. “I’m scared mommy. I don’t wanna die.” They mumbled.

”You're going to be okay, I promise.”

* * *

The funeral was horrible....

**I’m just kidding I’m not that evil.**


	49. Chapter 49

Peggy stayed in the hospital for about a week before they could go back home. They would have to have surgery and chemotherapy. Pegs wasn’t as energetic as they usually were. In fact, now that Alex knew they had cancer, he noticed how fatigued they looked and how little they ate.

How could he have missed that? Pegs tried their best to stay optimistic, but it was hard to do when they had to go to chemotherapy every day for the first two weeks. Then they got a break from chemo for a single week before going back to every day.

They were trying desperately to get them better, but it wasn’t working. That’s why the doctors told the Schuylers that Pegs would need surgery. Bilobectomy to be exact. This was the removal of two lobes affected by the cancer on a person’s right lung. 

Ever since they heard they would get surgery, Pegs got even more nervous. After two weeks of treatment, Alex noticed they started wearing hats to hide the bald spots until they gave up and just owned the fact they had no hair. Mrs. Schuyler offered to buy them a wig, but Pegs just refused.

Their parents were already paying for chemo. Their parents shouldn’t need to buy anything else for Pegs. 

* * *

Alex’s adoption court date was set for a few days after Peggy’s surgery. That meant they probably wouldn’t be able to make it to Alex’s adoption. That stung, but Alex knew it wasn’t Pegs's fault, but he still wished they were there. They had to be in recovery.

But overall, Alex was beyond excited. He couldn’t wait for the name on his purse to be his legal and official name on his certificate.


	50. Chapter 50

Pegs didn’t go to school for the two weeks before their surgery. They didn’t need the stressful schoolwork right before the procedure. The day before the operation, Mrs. Schuyler drove Pegs to the hospital before signing them in and having a doctor take them to their room. Pegs was going to stay overnight resting and getting medicated to get ready for surgery.

* * *

The surgeons say that the surgery was successful. But of course Pegs had to stay at the hospital just in case.

* * *

The day of Alex’s adoption came. The Washingtons dresses up and Alex got on the [blue dress](https://www.beautydressy.com/products/light-blue-short-satin-party-dress-cute-formal-dress-2019) that the Washingtons insisted they get him, despite the price of $149.99. It was a special day for Alex and they believed he should dress his best. Besides, they saw how he was looking at that dress.

Alex slipped the dress on before putting on his high heels. He spun around and then heard a voice behind him. “You look beautiful, Alex.” Alex turned to find George watching him, leaning against the doorframe. He was dressed in a button-up and slacks. Alex tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ear. “Thank you sir. Do you think Martha can help with my makeup and hair?”

George smiled. “I’m sure she’d love to do that. Let’s go find her, shall we?” Alex walked out of his room and found Martha in her bathroom putting in earrings. “Erm-Martha?” The woman turned around, struggling to put the jewelry in place. “Yes dear?”

Alex straightened the skirt of his dress before asking, “Could you curl my hair and do my makeup please?” Martha smiled and beckoned Alex over as she started heating the iron. She pulled out Alex’s foundation and put a little on his face before putting a light pink blush across his cheeks and on his nose.

Martha put light pink eyeshadow on Alex’s eye lids before blending white into the middle. She got one of Alex’s clear glosses and put some in Alex’s lips before the light on the iron turned on. Martha gently brushed out Alex’s slightly wavy hair before picking up the curling iron and curling up his hair and waiting a bit before letting it go. Then she repeated until all his hair was curled.

Martha pulled the top half of his hair into a twist before securing it with a band and putting a bow in. “How does that look?” She took a picture of the back of Alex’s hair and showed it to him. “That’s perfect. Thank you Martha!” Martha smiled happily. “You’re welcome, Alex. Now let’s get you into the car.”

* * *

Alex sat with the Schuylers in the courtroom excitedly swinging his legs. There was an empty spot where Pegs should’ve been. An aunt was watching them at the hospital because both Mr. and Mrs. Schuyler had to be at the adoption.

* * *

Just before the judge started to speak, a knock was heard. The door opened and someone was getting wheeled into the courtroom in a wheelchair by a woman. It was Pegs. They had a lopsided smirk. Pegs was hooked up to different medication IVs and had a yellow jacket over their hospital gown on.

”Pegs?” Alex asked confused. “You’re supposed to be in the hospital!” Pegs was wheeled closer so they could be nearer to their family.

“My aunt was able to convince the doctors to let me go to your adoption until the papers were signed as long as I was closely monitored and I had all these medications hooked up to me. You didn’t think I would miss my big brother’s adoption, did you?” Soon, Pegs’s wheelchair was settled on the end of the bench next to Mrs. Schuyler. 

* * *

Soon, the papers were signed, pictures were taken, and everyone got a teddy bear. And then Alex was officially Alexander James Hamilton-Schuyler.


	51. Chapter 51

It was now the end of senior year. Alexander Hamilton-Schuyler made it. He also made new friends, lost some, got a kind and caring boyfriend, and a loving new family he knew wouldn’t hurt him. Pegs beat their cancer and was soon healthy and went back to being themself. It took a while, but soon Angelica got better from Thomas’s death.

As for Eliza, she was the same old motherly friend. Just with an extra brother. 

Alex learned much about family. 

He learned much about friendship

He learned much in school.

About standing up for himself.

About what grief could do to a person.

He learned why Thomas was driving out so late, and he cried.

Most of all, he learned about love.

Alex was made valedictorian and he stood up to make his speech. He looked among the crowd before he started to speak. He bit his lip and began. 

“This year I not only got academic knowledge, but emotional knowledge. Some may know that at the beginning of the year I was in an abusive foster home. I was physically, verbally, and mentally abused and it only got worse when thy found out I was a bisexual crossdresser.

”Um-I came to school one day and my best friend and sister, Eliza found out about the abuse and helped me to stop cutting. I’m forever grateful for that. Thank you Lizzy. I opened up to a boy and we started dating. We still are. And I love him so much.”

Alex glanced at John and he couldn’t decipher what look crossed his face.

”Also, my other sisters boyfriend died one night trying to get me out of my abusive home. And I admit that we weren’t the closet of friends. So thank you to Thomas Jefferson. I want to also thank my parents, Philip and Catherine Schuyler for being so supportive and for adopting me.

”I want to thank my amazing siblings, Pegs, Angelica, and Eliza Schuyler for always being there to help me or even just make me laugh. I also want to thank my amazing boyfriend for never abandoning me, like he said he wouldn’t do.”

Another look passed John’s face.

”Also, a huge thanks to Mr. Washington and his wife for being my foster family until I could get adopted. But overall, I want to thank every single person who cared and stayed by my side. Thank you.”

People clapped as Alex stepped down from the podium. Everyone threw their hats in the air and Alex saw John walking towards him. Alex went up with a smile to hug him before John said,

“We need to talk.”

* * *

**The next two chapters will be endings! It’s requested that I post the happy ending first!**


	52. Happy ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the happy ending!

”We need to talk.”

Alex smiles, knowing it can’t be anything bad. But now he sees the look on John’s face is guilt. “What’s wrong, love?” John shook his head. “We need to break up.”

That shattered Alex’s world. “I’m sorry, what?” John looked at his feet. “Up there you were talking about how much you loved me and I realized that I could never love you that much. You just are so magnificent and beautiful and amazing...I could never love you as much as you deserve to be loved. You deserve so much better. I’m sorry Alex.”

John kissed him on the head and walked away, leaving Alex crying. But soon his crying turned into a baby’s cry.

* * *

”Alex, Alex! Wake up babe.” Someone whispered into Alex’s ear. “The baby’s crying. Can you get him please?” What? Alex sat up in his bed and looked around. John was laying on the other side of the bed and there was a crying baby in the crib next to Alex.

As Alex looked into the cradle, everything rushed back to him. He didn’t meet John in high school. He met him at an internship. They got engaged and adopted a beautiful baby they named after Alex’s adoptive father, Philip.

Alex gently picked up the baby before cradling him and going to the kitchen to make a bottle. 

As he was feeding Philip, he was thinking about what a weird dream that he had. After Philip finished, Alex put the baby back into bed before slipping under the covers next to John. 

“Hey John?” He asked. “Mhm?” John hummed in response. “I had a dream that we met in high school and the Schuylers adopted me and Pegs got cancer and Jefferson died and then I got valedictorian and then you broke up with me...”

John’s arms went around Alex’s waist. “I’d never break up with you. Or divorce you now. We’re married, and I wouldn’t marry you if I didn’t love you completely.”

And in that moment, Alex felt loved and safe. He knew that John would never ever abandon him.


	53. Sad Ending

“We need to talk.” 

John was blushing and looked nervous as he held Alex’s hands. “Listen, I know we’ve only been dating for about a year. But I really wanted to give this to you to show you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you when we’re ready. This ring isn’t an engagement ring yet. But this is supposed to signify that I’ll always love you. I’ll never abandon you.” 

John pulled out a [promise ring](https://www.glamira.com/glamira-ring-meuriz.html?alloy=white-silber) and presented it to Alex. Alex’s hands flew to cover his mouth and he started hopping up and down. “Thank you!” Alex shouted before hugging John. After he pulled away, John slipped the ring on Alex’s right ring finger before picking him up and spinning him, making his skirt float around.

As Alex was giggling he was thinking, _“This is too good to be true.”_

* * *

And it was. In his extreme excitement, Alex woke himself up. He was laying in a blue room and at first he thought it was Eliza’s room before looking around and not seeing his younger sister.

He looked down and couldn’t see his heels or Mary Janes before going into the closet. There wasn’t a skirt, dress, or blouse in sight. Panicking he ran to his phone and opened his contacts. The only ones saved were Aaron’s number and his social workers number.

Alex felt tears start to pour from his eyes as he set his phone back down on the dresser. He just sat on the bed in shock before sighing. Of course it was all a dream. Alex couldn’t have a perfect life.

Everyone abandoned him and it was a fact. 

Alex went downstairs to find his foster parents alive grumbling about the day. He grabbed his bag and asked them, “What school am I going to again?” His ‘father’ looked up, annoyed. 

“King’s High. You can’t be that idiotic.” A rush of excitement went through Alex for a second. Maybe not all of it was a dream!

* * *

At school he saw John. The boy was chatting with Thomas. That was strange. Alex skipped up to him. “Hey John!” John looked at him weirdly and confused. “Who are you, weirdo?” Alex’s smile dropped. “I’m-I’m Alex.”

John just scoffed and pushed Alex over. “Cmon Thomas. This kid’s a freak-o.” Alex just sat on the floor in shock. He was confused and hurt. So it was all a dream after all. He would never feel safe or protected. He wouldn’t ever be loved.

Because everyone would always leave him.

He’d always get _ABANDONED_

* * *

_ fin. _


End file.
